The man who shot off his own penis...and other bizarre accidents

From passionate kisses that burst eardrums, to kicking a cactus barefoot, here's a collection of rather odd incidents


It was reported today that a security guard accidentally shot off his own penis with a handgun.

The hospital guard in Trinidad and Tobago was found sitting in a car bleeding from his groin after residents had reported hearing gunshots.

To add to the unfortunate man’s woes, it was discovered that he didn’t have a licence for the gun and will be charged with illegal possession of a firearm once he gets out of hospital where he is being watched by armed guards – armed guards who are presumably having an immense amount of fun waving their guns around in front of him and recreating the accident.

Perhaps the unlucky victim will find solace in the fact that he is not the only person in history to injure themselves in a strange or silly manner. So, with this in mind, I have provided a round up of some of the world’s weirdest accidents and injuries.

Sex is always a good place to start. There are several obvious and sometimes messy risks attendant upon the universal act but there are some injuries you just wouldn’t expect. This was the case with a woman who admitted on a forum to knocking herself out when the sex swing on which she was straddling her husband collapsed on top of them. The woman, who evidently has a sense of humour, blamed the accident on a missing stud...

Another man on the same forum blamed a foot injury on his wife being too good at oral sex. He said on the discussion board for married couples:

“I think I curled my toes so hard that I broke my own foot!”

Even this, however, doesn’t compare to the weirdness of the Chinese woman who went temporarily deaf after a passionate kiss reduced the air pressure in her mouth so much that it burst her eardrum. Following the accident, Chinese doctors apparently issued a statement advising kissing couples to “proceed with caution”.

Sex of course isn’t the only pleasure that comes with attendant risks. Drinking can be hazardous too. There are thousands of possible ways to injure yourself where beer is involved but you’d be forgiven – wrongly as it turns out – for ignoring the threat of drowning in it. However this is exactly what happened to several people in London in 1814 when 550,000 gallons (4.4 million pints) of beer escaped from cracked vats at the Meux and Company Brewery. The tidal wave of beer destroyed two houses and knocked down the wall of a local pub. Eight people sadly even died in the flood. It’s not reported what the survivors did but I imagine they didn’t find it difficult to drown their sorrows.

Sport is another dangerous pastime and professional sport is simply littered with injuries. As a football manager, for example, you’d expect to lose several players over the course of a season to various twists, strains, snaps and breakages. You might not be so happy though if your star striker injured his back whilst blow-drying his hair, which is exactly what happened to hockey star Manny Fernandez.

Similarly you wouldn’t be over the moon if one of your players badly burned himself by ironing his shirt whilst wearing it, as did baseball ace John Smoltz. Baseball doesn’t seem to attract the brightest of sparks as proved by fellow player Adam Eaton who stabbed himself in the hand while trying to open a DVD case with a steak knife or another star, Jimmy Gobble, who injured himself by kicking a cactus barefoot. None of which quite matches the embarrassment surely felt by the aptly named American football player, Robert Pratt, who collapsed with a pulled hamstring while running out for the pre-match coin toss.

On the subject of which, a coin toss has never had such far-reaching consequences as the one which sealed the fate of an entire football team from the Democratic Republic of Congo. All eleven players were killed by a lightning strike, which reportedly left the other team completely unscathed.

Dying, of course, is bad enough but being proved wrong at the same time must be hard to take, as was the case for a Canadian lawyer who hurled himself out of a 24 floor window in Toronto while demonstrating to a group of visiting law students the ‘unbreakable’ nature of the glass. A lesson there for all of us, I think, about not tempting fate.

Another lesson might be that your greatest strength can also be your greatest weakness, as was learnt by Austrian Hans Steininger, owner of the world’s longest beard. He trod on the offending growth one day and broke his own neck.

But the costliest slip up of all time has to go to Napoleon Bonaparte. It is hotly debated whether the incident actually happened but some sources claim that 1,200 prisoners were killed by mistake when the French Emperor, who had been suffering from a cough, snorted: “Ma sacre toux” or “my damn cough”. Officers, who had been awaiting his orders on the subject, thought they heard the words “massacre tous”, meaning “kill them all”, which they promptly did.

Still, I’m sure they all had a good old chuckle about it when they realised their mistake...

React Now

iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Information Security Manager (ISO 27001, Accreditation, ITIL)

£70000 per annum: Harrington Starr: Information Security Manager (ISO 27001, A...

C# Developer (HTML5, JavaScript, ASP.NET, Mathematics, Entity)

£30000 - £45000 per annum + Benefits + Bonus: Harrington Starr: C# Developer (...

C# Integration Developer (.NET, Tibco EMS, SQL 2008/2012, XML)

£60000 - £80000 per annum + Benefits + Bonus: Harrington Starr: C# Integration...

Biztalk - outstanding opportunity

£75000 - £85000 per annum + ex bens: Deerfoot IT Resources Limited: Biztalk Te...

Day In a Page

Read Next

i Editor's Letter: The final instalment of our WW1 series

Oliver Duff Oliver Duff

Simon Usborne: The more you watch pro cycling, the more you understand its social complexity

Simon Usborne
A History of the First World War in 100 Moments: Peace without magnanimity - the summit in a railway siding that ended the fighting

A History of the First World War in 100 Moments

Peace without magnanimity - the summit in a railway siding that ended the fighting
Scottish independence: How the Commonwealth Games could swing the vote

Scottish independence: How the Commonwealth Games could swing the vote

In the final part of our series, Chris Green arrives in Glasgow - a host city struggling to keep the politics out of its celebration of sport
Out in the cold: A writer spends a night on the streets and hears the stories of the homeless

A writer spends a night on the streets

Rough sleepers - the homeless, the destitute and the drunk - exist in every city. Will Nicoll meets those whose luck has run out
Striking new stations, high-speed links and (whisper it) better services - the UK's railways are entering a new golden age

UK's railways are entering a new golden age

New stations are opening across the country and our railways appear to be entering an era not seen in Britain since the early 1950s
Conchita Wurst becomes a 'bride' on the Paris catwalk - and proves there is life after Eurovision

Conchita becomes a 'bride' on Paris catwalk

Alexander Fury salutes the Eurovision Song Contest winner's latest triumph
Pétanque World Championship in Marseilles hit by

Pétanque 'world cup' hit by death threats

This year's most acrimonious sporting event took place in France, not Brazil. How did pétanque get so passionate?
Whelks are healthy, versatile and sustainable - so why did we stop eating them in the UK?

Why did we stop eating whelks?

Whelks were the Victorian equivalent of the donor kebab and our stocks are abundant. So why do we now export them all to the Far East?
10 best women's sunglasses

In the shade: 10 best women's sunglasses

From luxury bespoke eyewear to fun festival sunnies, we round up the shades to be seen in this summer
Germany vs Argentina World Cup 2014: Lionel Messi? Javier Mascherano is key for Argentina...

World Cup final: Messi? Mascherano is key for Argentina...

No 10 is always centre of attention but Barça team-mate is just as crucial to finalists’ hopes
Siobhan-Marie O’Connor: Swimmer knows she needs Glasgow joy on road to Rio

Siobhan-Marie O’Connor: Swimmer needs Glasgow joy on road to Rio

18-year-old says this month’s Commonwealth Games are a key staging post in her career before time slips away
The true Gaza back-story that the Israelis aren’t telling this week

The true Gaza back-story that the Israelis aren’t telling this week

A future Palestine state will have no borders and be an enclave within Israel, surrounded on all sides by Israeli-held territory, says Robert Fisk
A History of the First World War in 100 Moments: The German people demand an end to the fighting

A History of the First World War in 100 Moments

The German people demand an end to the fighting
New play by Oscar Wilde's grandson reveals what the Irish wit said at his trials

New play reveals what Oscar Wilde said at trials

For a century, what Wilde actually said at his trials was a mystery. But the recent discovery of shorthand notes changed that. Now his grandson Merlin Holland has turned them into a play
Can scientists save the world's sea life from

Can scientists save our sea life?

By the end of the century, the only living things left in our oceans could be plankton and jellyfish. Alex Renton meets the scientists who are trying to turn the tide
Richard III, Trafalgar Studios, review: Martin Freeman gives highly intelligent performance

Richard III review

Martin Freeman’s psychotic monarch is big on mockery but wanting in malice