The name's Terry, Terry of the mountains

Share
Related Topics

I'm in the French Alps, skiing in a small British village called Val d'Isère. I suppose that technically it's French but you wouldn't know it. The place is packed with Ruperts and Tobys teaching their broods to ski so that they might better be able to network once they get their first job in banking. French is spoken here, but only if absolutely necessary and is definitely frowned upon.

Stacey and I decided that our kids should learn to snowboard, as opposed to skiing, like us. This decision was mainly based around the different types of boots. Snowboarders have boots that are as comfortable as Uggs, whereas we skiers still have to squeeze our feet into medieval torture machines. I do find it astonishing that we can put a man on the moon but still can't invent comfortable ski boots. Perhaps designers can hold off on the unnecessary, but inevitable, iPhone 6 and concentrate on an iBoot?

Regular readers will know that I was very early on the "onesie" fashion curve, and I have taken this to the slopes by sporting a very snazzy one-piece ski suit. For some reason that I have yet to fathom, the suit has a Velcro patch on the front with the word "Terry" on it. This is not the maker's name, but it does mean that, to the amusement of my family, my "mountain" name is now Terry.

Last week, I slipped away from the pack and was skiing on my own when I witnessed a woman do a spectacular wipeout. She lost both skis and went head over heels down the mountain, unable to stop herself for about 200 yards. She was screaming in agony when she finally came to rest and, as I was quite near her, I skied over and did what I could. She had hurt her back, and so I tried to make sure that she didn't move as I waved down a passing ski instructor and asked him to radio for assistance.

The injured woman was English and spoke no French so she used me for translation purposes. After a while she kept thanking me and calling me "Terry". I didn't think that this was the time to explain that this was not my name so I rolled with it. I had a balaclava on, and was loath to take this off lest she happen to recognise me and become ever further confused, and start to worry that she might be in some complicated hidden camera scenario.

I stayed with her for about 20 minutes, until help arrived, and she was taken down the mountain on a stretcher. Her last words were, "Thank you, Terry. I'm so grateful."

That evening, at supper, everyone was discussing the incident and joking that the woman might be an über-rich heiress (not uncommon out here) who would now be looking to thank her ski-slope assistant with a small gift of a super yacht or a place in Mustique.

They suggested that I should scan the pages of the local paper to see if someone was "looking for Terry". I imagined trying to explain that I was indeed "Terry" although not … it was too complicated, and I fear that Mustique shall never be mine. If she is reading this, however, a comfy pair of ski boots would be nice.

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Quantitative Developer

£700 per day: Harrington Starr: Quantitative Developer C++, Python, STL, R, PD...

Web developer (C#, MVC4, HTML5, CSS3, Javascript, Jquery)

£30000 - £44000 per annum + Bonus+Benefits+Package: Harrington Starr: Web deve...

Senior Automation QA Engineer (Java, Selenium WebDriver, Agile)

£40000 - £65000 per annum + benefits+bonus+package: Harrington Starr: Senior A...

Web developer (C#.NET, ASP.NET, MVC3/4, HTML5, CSS3, JAVASCRIPT

£35000 - £45000 per annum + benefits+bonus+package: Harrington Starr: Web deve...

Day In a Page

Read Next
Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi addresses the nation on the country's Independence Day in New Delhi, India  

With Modi talking tough and Sharif weak, the India-Pakistan love-in could never last

Andrew Buncombe
At the time of the investigation Patrick Foster published a statement on Twitter, denouncing the “unnecessarily heavy-handed police investigation”  

Long-term bail allows lazy police and prosecutors to leave cases to gather dust

Oliver Wright
Ferguson: In the heartlands of America, a descent into madness

A descent into madness in America's heartlands

David Usborne arrived in Ferguson, Missouri to be greeted by a scene more redolent of Gaza and Afghanistan
BBC’s filming of raid at Sir Cliff’s home ‘may be result of corruption’

BBC faces corruption allegation over its Sir Cliff police raid coverage

Reporter’s relationship with police under scrutiny as DG is summoned by MPs to explain extensive live broadcast of swoop on singer’s home
Lauded therapist Harley Mille still in limbo as battle to stay in Britain drags on

Lauded therapist still in limbo as battle to stay in Britain drags on

Australian Harley Miller is as frustrated by court delays as she is with the idiosyncrasies of immigration law
Lewis Fry Richardson's weather forecasts changed the world. But could his predictions of war do the same?

Lewis Fry Richardson's weather forecasts changed the world...

But could his predictions of war do the same?
Kate Bush asks fans not to take photos at her London gigs: 'I want to have contact with the audience, not iPhones'

'I want to have contact with the audience, not iPhones'

Kate Bush asks fans not to take photos at her London gigs
Under-35s have rated gardening in their top five favourite leisure activities, but why?

Young at hort

Under-35s have rated gardening in their top five favourite leisure activities. But why are so many people are swapping sweaty clubs for leafy shrubs?
Tim Vine, winner of the Funniest Joke of the Fringe award: 'making a quip as funny as possible is an art'

Beyond a joke

Tim Vine, winner of the Funniest Joke of the Fringe award, has nigh-on 200 in his act. So how are they conceived?
The late Peter O'Toole shines in 'Katherine of Alexandria' despite illness

The late Peter O'Toole shines in 'Katherine of Alexandria' despite illness

Sadly though, the Lawrence of Arabia star is not around to lend his own critique
Wicken Fen in Cambridgeshire: The joy of camping in a wetland nature reserve and sleeping under the stars

A wild night out

Wicken Fen in Cambridgeshire offers a rare chance to camp in a wetland nature reserve
Comic Sans for Cancer exhibition: It’s the font that’s openly ridiculed for its jaunty style, but figures of fun have their fans

Comic Sans for Cancer exhibition

It’s the font that’s openly ridiculed for its jaunty style, but figures of fun have their fans
Besiktas vs Arsenal: Five things we learnt from the Champions League first-leg tie

Besiktas vs Arsenal

Five things we learnt from the Champions League first-leg tie
Rory McIlroy a smash hit on the US talk show circuit

Rory McIlroy a smash hit on the US talk show circuit

As the Northern Irishman prepares for the Barclays, he finds time to appear on TV in the States, where he’s now such a global superstar that he needs no introduction
Boy racer Max Verstappen stays relaxed over step up to Formula One

Boy racer Max Verstappen stays relaxed over step up to F1

The 16-year-old will become the sport’s youngest-ever driver when he makes his debut for Toro Rosso next season
Fear brings the enemies of Isis together at last

Fear brings the enemies of Isis together at last

But belated attempts to unite will be to no avail if the Sunni caliphate remains strong in Syria, says Patrick Cockburn
Charlie Gilmour: 'I wondered if I would end up killing myself in jail'

Charlie Gilmour: 'I wondered if I'd end up killing myself in jail'

Following last week's report on prison suicides, the former inmate asks how much progress we have made in the 50 years since the abolition of capital punishment