This week's wackiest web stories: Johnny Law's coming to break up snowball fights in Flanders

Plus, the ring made of human skin, a saucy license plate, and Noah's Ark take two

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Fondue au Fromage

A road tunnel in Norway has been closed - by a lorry-load of burning cheese. BBC

Got to do what you got to do

Spanish schoolboy fakes kidnap to avoid teacher parents' evening. The police officer's 11-year-old son, who claimed he was being driven away in boot of car, was found hiding in family home. Guardian

Wasting time

Americans spend 43 days of their life waiting on the phone ... Marketwatch

Valentines, darling?

Sruli Recht, designer, creates 'Forget Me Knot' skin ring featuring slice of his own flesh. Huffington Post

Snow fair

Throwing a snowball could cost you €100 if you do so in Flanders. Local authorities in Belgium’s Flemish region have outlawed the game, with fines and policemen to enforce the ban. Russia Today

Didn't get the joke

A t-shirt emblazoned with one of the most memorable lines from the classic adventure film The Princess Bride caused a furore on a Qantas flight last week. Telegraph

"GAYGUY"

An Atlanta man is suing the state of Georgia after his application for a vanity license plate that he said described his sexual orientation was denied. Reuters

Rock Star

Nora, 89, has worshipped at St Mary’s in Cowley, Glos, for 60 years. She was chosen by parishioners to have her face carved on to a new pillar. Sun

Diplomacy

Let elderly people "hurry up and die", says Japanese minister Taro Aso says he would refuse end-of-life care and would 'feel bad' knowing treatment was paid for by government. Guardian

Fashion Police

IBM predicts that ‘steampunk,’ a sub-genre inspired by the clothing, technology and social mores of Victorian society, will be a major trend to bubble up, and take hold, of the retail industry. IBM

Animal behavior

Gary the Goat cleared of vandalising flower bed A goat has been cleared by an Australian court of destroying a flower bed outside a Sydney museum. Telegraph

Noah's ark

A man in Ohio had hundreds of animals removed from his house. Yahoo

Education

A large number of Belgium's future secondary school teachers struggle with basic concepts of geography, politics and history, a study published on Wednesday has shown. Reuters

Happiest baby on earth

No question about it. Youtube

Take your Time

Gambian President Yahya Jammeh has decreed a four-day working week for public officials, making Friday a day of rest to allow residents in the small West African state more time for prayer and agriculture. Reuters

Bomb-proof trains

Train carriages could be bomb-proofed to prevent a repeat of the carnage left by the London Underground terrorist attacks. Telegraph

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