Trendy dad Graham Venables has been 'hanging out' with his children since they reached their early teens

Life As We Know It No.95: Tom and Izzie are fond of their father, while sometimes wishing that he would start acting his age

Illustration by Mark Long

'I always think you should make a point of not interfering in your children's lives," Graham Venables will sometimes declare at one of the dinner parties he and Grizelda occasionally convene. "I mean, the last thing a young person wants" – it is a measure of Graham's sincerity that he can use the words "young person" without the least shred of embarrassment – "is someone who goes around prying. Why, when I came back the other night, it was perfectly obvious that someone had been smoking dope in the TV room. But I told myself that it wasn't any of my business."

The heads around the table nod at this exemplary liberal sentiment. "When it comes to it," Graham goes on, in tones almost as lofty as those in which his father, a vicar, used to address his congregations in Uttoxeter, "you have to let kids make their own mistakes. That doesn't mean you can't spend time with them. In fact, if I didn't have Tom and Izzie to hang out with, I don't know what I'd do with myself sometimes."

The heads nod again, peer respect balanced by the suspicion that all this is just a little too good to be true. Modishly dressed fifty-something Graham has been "hanging out" with his children, Thomas and Isobel, since they reached their early teens, roving eagerly through the cultural landscapes they inhabit, and making a point of aligning himself to what he calls their "wavelength".The glove compartment of the Mazda is full of CDs by bands such as Kasabian and Foals, and it was in the same spirit of earnest enquiry that Graham insisted on accompanying his offspring to a screening of Straight Outta Compton. True to his principles, Graham pronounced the film "really very interesting". He is quite unshockable, and a child who came home with a brace of Satanist tattoos would raise nothing more than a tolerant smile.

For their part, Tom and Izzie are fond of their father, while sometimes wishing that he would start acting his age. "What do you think of this shirt?" he demanded of Izzie not long back. "Honestly, dad," his daughter returned, having glanced in horror at the lively multi-coloured pattern, "you look like a 60-year-old on his way to an '80s disco." But then, as Graham frequently reminds the confraternity of the dinner table, another thing you have to encourage in your children is honesty.