Turkey Bear and Cthurky should make vegetarians of us all (but it probably won't)

In reality, I doubt these meaty horrors will put many off their Christmas turkey

Share
Related Topics

I like my bacon, as we’ve established, but I can still sympathise with committed veggies at what must be a particularly difficult time of year. Christmas Day’s centre-piece is a giant roasted bird corpse and the usual alternative is a dry nut roast, which everyone agrees is a sad insult to the art of cookery. With this in mind, Russian Viktor Ivanov and American Rusty Eulberg should be celebrated as two unlikely, but festive champions of vegetarianism.

Ivanov is the creator of the ‘Turkey Bear’, a teddy-bear sewn together from pieces of raw meat (chicken, as it turns out) which is nightmarishly reminiscent of a beloved childhood toy which has been skinned alive. Turkey Bear is, however, cuddly in comparison with Eulberg’s ‘Cthurkey’, which combines a crab, an octopus and the traditional turkey in tribute to ‘Cthulhu’, a tentacled monster created by horror writer HP Lovecraft. Both are apparently edible. 

In theory, one glance at either should instantly convert anyone to vegetarianism. In reality, I doubt they will put many off their Christmas turkey. That’s the shameful truth about most meat-eaters; we already know that eating the flesh of other animals is innately grotesque, not particularly good for the environment and, if done to excess, also bad for your health. But if we hadn’t long-since become completely inured to this reality, we wouldn’t enjoy it so much. 

The art of the insult

In the UK it falls under the Proceeds of Crime Act; in the US it’s known as a ‘Son of Sam’ law, but the measures intended to prevent a criminal from profiting from their crime have been ineffectual in the case of George Zimmerman, who this weekend sold a painting on eBay for over $100,000.

Unlike most of those amateur painters whose notoriety exceeds their talent, Zimmerman is allowed to keep the money, because he was acquitted of the murder of 17-year-old Trayvon Martin in 2012, albeit in highly controversial circumstances.

Perhaps if Zimmerman had painted a still-life of some flowers, his windfall might be easier to stomach, but the ‘art’ in question is a canvas emblazoned with these bitterly ironic words: “One nation with liberty and justice for all”. 

Zimmerman may not have committed a crime in the eyes of the law, but he’s certainly profiting from a tragic death. 

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Ashdown Group: IT Support Technician - 12 Month Fixed Term - Shrewsbury

£17000 - £20000 per annum: Ashdown Group: IT Helpdesk Support Technician - 12 ...

The Jenrick Group: Maintenance Planner

£28000 - £32000 per annum + pension + holidays: The Jenrick Group: Maintenance...

The Jenrick Group: World Wide PLC Service Engineer

£30000 - £38000 per annum + pesion + holidays: The Jenrick Group: World Wide S...

The Jenrick Group: Project Manager

£35000 per annum + Pension+Bupa: The Jenrick Group: We are recruiting for an e...

Day In a Page

Read Next
Mary Christmas: the Bethlehem story is Mary's moment, when a poor peasant girl gives birth to the Son of God in a stable  

The appeal of the Virgin Mary: A supernatural hope at a time of scepticism

Peter Stanford
 

Letters: Why Cameron is wrong about EU child benefits

Independent Voices
Surrounded by high-rise flats is a little house filled with Lebanon’s history - clocks, rifles, frogmen’s uniforms and colonial helmets

Clocks, rifles, swords, frogmen’s uniforms

Surrounded by high-rise flats is a little house filled with Lebanon’s history
Return to Gaza: Four months on, the wounds left by Israel's bombardment have not yet healed

Four months after the bombardment, Gaza’s wounds are yet to heal

Kim Sengupta is reunited with a man whose plight mirrors the suffering of the Palestinian people
Gastric surgery: Is it really the answer to the UK's obesity epidemic?

Is gastric surgery really the answer to the UK's obesity epidemic?

Critics argue that it’s crazy to operate on healthy people just to stop them eating
Homeless Veterans appeal: Christmas charity auction Part 2 - now LIVE

Homeless Veterans appeal: Christmas charity auction

Bid on original art, or trips of a lifetime to Africa or the 'Corrie' set, and help Homeless Veterans
Pantomime rings the changes to welcome autistic theatre-goers

Autism-friendly theatre

Pantomime leads the pack in quest to welcome all
The week Hollywood got scared and had to grow up a bit

The week Hollywood got scared and had to grow up a bit

Sony suffered a chorus of disapproval after it withdrew 'The Interview', but it's not too late for it to take a stand, says Joan Smith
From Widow Twankey to Mother Goose, how do the men who play panto dames get themselves ready for the performance of a lifetime?

Panto dames: before and after

From Widow Twankey to Mother Goose, how do the men who play panto dames get themselves ready for the performance of a lifetime?
Thirties murder mystery novel is surprise runaway Christmas hit

Thirties murder mystery novel is surprise runaway Christmas hit

Booksellers say readers are turning away from dark modern thrillers and back to the golden age of crime writing
Anne-Marie Huby: 'Charities deserve the best,' says founder of JustGiving

Anne-Marie Huby: 'Charities deserve the best'

Ten million of us have used the JustGiving website to donate to good causes. Its co-founder says that being dynamic is as important as being kind
The botanist who hunts for giant trees at Kew Gardens

The man who hunts giants

A Kew Gardens botanist has found 25 new large tree species - and he's sure there are more out there
The 12 ways of Christmas: Spare a thought for those who will be working to keep others safe during the festive season

The 12 ways of Christmas

We speak to a dozen people who will be working to keep others safe, happy and healthy over the holidays
Birdwatching men have a lot in common with their feathered friends, new study shows

The male exhibits strange behaviour

A new study shows that birdwatching men have a lot in common with their feathered friends...
Diaries of Evelyn Waugh, Virginia Woolf and Noël Coward reveal how they coped with the December blues

Famous diaries: Christmas week in history

Noël Coward parties into the night, Alan Clark bemoans the cost of servants, Evelyn Waugh ponders his drinking…
From noble to narky, the fall of the open letter

From noble to narky, the fall of the open letter

The great tradition of St Paul and Zola reached its nadir with a hungry worker's rant to Russell Brand, says DJ Taylor
A Christmas ghost story by Alison Moore: A prodigal daughter has a breakthrough

A Christmas ghost story by Alison Moore

The story was published earlier this month in 'Poor Souls' Light: Seven Curious Tales'