Twitter Top Trumps: Lord Alan Sugar vs. Donald Trump in spat over The Apprentice

Last night the two TV top dogs sparred on Twitter, but who's really the biggest, baddest boss of them all?

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The anti-wind farm windbag Donald Trump initiated his own game of Twitter Top Trumps last night when he engaged in a battle of…er…wits with Lord Alan Sugar, his opposite number on reality show The Apprentice. The spat started when Sugar expressed his outrage over Trump’s opposition to wind turbines in Scotland. @realDonaldTrump responded “@Lord_Sugar If you think ugly windmills are good for Scotland you are an even worse businessman than I thought.”

Over the course of the row, Trump – true to form - displayed the most bombast, at one point tweeting “Dopey @Lord_Sugar—Look in the mirror and thank the real Lord that Donald Trump exists. You are nothing!”, but Sugar made the most sense, referencing Trump’s paltry follower numbers and questioning him on his business debts. He also laid down this gauntlet: “@realDonaldTrump thank you for allowing the UK audience to form a comparison between me and you. YOU LOST ask them who is better at it.” He asked and we answered…

Hair

Alan Sugar has a full(ish) head of salt n pepper that any 65-year-old man would envy. He sneers in the face of Just For Men. If his opponent had any ordinary hair-do, Sugar would win hands down, but of course Trump’s transcendent hair-don’t is far from ordinary. With the innovation of a true entrepreneur, Trump has taken the perceived disadvantage of a baldie head and transformed it into his personal trademark. Marvel, as his spectacularly rubbish comb-over flaps proudly in the wind like the national flag of Trumptonia.

Trump: 10

Sugar: 8

Quotability

 “You're Fired” is not the only piece of plain-speaking wisdom for which Sugar is known. He specialises in put-downs for life’s timewasters (The Apprentice, for some reason, is a magnet for them), or as he has it: “I don't like liars, I don't like cheats. I don't like bullshitters. I don't like schmoozers. I don't like arse-lickers.”

Trump on the other hand, rarely opens his mouth without something stupid falling out, it's great for his Twitter feed and great for his quotability. 

Trump: 9

Sugar: 7

Mentor-like qualities

The Apprentice hinges on the premise that thousands of thrusting young businesspeeps are simply gagging for the opportunity to learn under the aegis of Trump or Sugar – but would you actually want either of them as your boss? No, of course not.

Trump: 0

Sugar: 0

Stupid ideas

A few decades on and Alan Sugar has just about lived down Amstrad’s 1990 flop in the gaming market and his decision to sack Terry Venebles as Spurs manager (“I felt as though I’d killed Bambi), with lots of work for charidee, but Trump still won’t give up the birther ghost.

Trump: 8

Sugar: 6

Rags to Riches?

Lord Alan Sugar started out as an East End barrow boy and now he’s an East End Barron – take THAT ‘Land of Opportunity’! Trump is also relatively self-made, although his childhood has been described as “comfortable”. It could be argued that Trump has travelled the furthest distance; his net worth is now estimated at between £1.9bn and $4.3bn, while Sugar makes do with a pauper-like £770 million

Trump: 2

Sugar: 9

Who's fired?

Trump: 29/50

He may talk the big talk, but Trump’s walk is a little wonky

Sugar: 30/50

The Hackney-boy-done-good showed Trump who’s boss. Just.

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