Alison Taylor: I'm more 'You've Been Framed!' than 'You and Your Wedding'. It's more honest

 

Share

Weddings are great, aren't they? Especially the ones you see on You've Been Framed!, when somebody wearing really brash Eighties fashions attempts a dangerously ambitious dance move and ends up collapsed on the shiny dancefloor.

I find myself snorting with laughter and also thinking, I wish I was at that wedding, it looks so fun. Because that, for me, is what weddings represent: intoxicated shenanigans, with high chance of injury; rather than all that hearts, flowers and romance stuff.

Don't get me wrong, I am a romantic and, if pressed and in the right situation (ie, a loving relationship that lasts longer than 2.5 weeks and doesn't end via text message), I think I would like to get married.

After years of several long-term but unwed unions and then sloshing around in what can only be described as the romantic slops for the past few years, making that sort of commitment would feel special, different. Crucially, it would set apart that relationship from all the others.

That being said, it is not exactly a long-held ambition of mine – something I feel I absolutely must do in this game of life – but rather a discreet "I could see myself doing that" without the arrogance/ assumption that it's definitely going to happen.

I think some people, mainly women, see marriage as a life plan non-negotiable, with the wedding day as something to be ever fantasised. I run kicking and screaming from that sort of talk, which is probably why, when it comes down to it, I'm more You've Been Framed! than You and Your Wedding. It's more honest.

If I had to choose something that could creep on to a Pinterest-style nuptials mood board for My Big Day, it would be a black-and-white photograph of my happy-and-windswept mum and dad on their wedding day. A photograph that stands framed on my dining table – a permanent fixture in my everyday life.

They look classically chic in the pictures because it was 1967, when straight lines and non-stupid lapels were de rigueur.

They had a quick service at the local church, a buffet and sherry reception at 'The Grand' cinema in Huddersfield town centre, before whizzing off for a three-night honeymoon in London. No frills, no fuss, undoubtedly cool. They've been happily married for 47 years now.

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Austen Lloyd: Commercial Property Lawyer - Cheshire

Excellent Salary: Austen Lloyd: CHESHIRE MARKET TOWN - An exciting and rare o...

Austen Lloyd: Residential Property Solicitor - Hampshire

Excellent Salary : Austen Lloyd: NORTH HAMPSHIRE - SENIOR POSITION - An exciti...

Recruitment Genius: Gas Installation Engineer

£29000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: A Gas Installation Engineer is required ...

Recruitment Genius: Domestic Gas Technical Surveyor

£28000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: A Domestic Gas Technical Surveyor is req...

Day In a Page

Read Next
Michael Brown was shot and killed by police in August  

Ferguson: The sad truth is that Michael Brown was killed because he was a black man

Bonnie Greer
A protestor poses for a  

Ferguson verdict: This isn't a 'tragedy'. This is part of a long-running genocide of black men in America

Otamere Guobadia
Homeless Veterans Christmas Appeal: Drifting and forgotten - turning lives around for ex-soldiers

Homeless Veterans Christmas Appeal: Turning lives around for ex-soldiers

Our partner charities help veterans on the brink – and get them back on their feet
Putin’s far-right ambition: Think-tank reveals how Russian President is wooing – and funding – populist parties across Europe to gain influence in the EU

Putin’s far-right ambition

Think-tank reveals how Russian President is wooing – and funding – populist parties across Europe to gain influence in the EU
Tove Jansson's Moominland: What was the inspiration for Finland's most famous family?

Escape to Moominland

What was the inspiration for Finland's most famous family?
Nightclubbing with Richard Young: The story behind his latest book of celebrity photographs

24-Hour party person

Photographer Richard Young has been snapping celebrities at play for 40 years. As his latest book is released, he reveals that it wasn’t all fun and games
Michelle Obama's school dinners: America’s children have a message for the First Lady

A taste for rebellion

US children have started an online protest against Michelle Obama’s drive for healthy school meals by posting photos of their lunches
Colouring books for adults: How the French are going crazy for Crayolas

Colouring books for adults

How the French are going crazy for Crayolas
Jack Thorne's play 'Hope': What would you do as a local politician faced with an impossible choice of cuts?

What would you do as a local politician faced with an impossible choice of cuts?

Playwright Jack Thorne's latest work 'Hope' poses the question to audiences
Ed Harcourt on Romeo Beckham and life as a court composer at Burberry

Call me Ed Mozart

Paloma Faith, Lana del Ray... Romeo Beckham. Ed Harcourt has proved that he can write for them all. But it took a personal crisis to turn him from indie star to writer-for-hire
10 best stocking fillers for foodies

Festive treats: 10 best stocking fillers for foodies

From boozy milk to wasabi, give the food-lover in your life some extra-special, unusual treats to wake up to on Christmas morning
Phil Hughes head injury: He had one weakness – it has come back to haunt him

Phil Hughes had one weakness – it has come back to haunt him

Prolific opener had world at his feet until Harmison and Flintoff bounced him
'I have an age of attraction that starts as low as four': How do you deal with a paedophile who has never committed a crime?

'I am a paedophile'

Is our approach to sex offenders helping to create more victims?
How bad do you have to be to lose a Home Office contract?

How bad do you have to be to lose a Home Office contract?

Serco given Yarl’s Wood immigration contract despite ‘vast failings’
Green Party on the march in Bristol: From a lost deposit to victory

From a lost deposit to victory

Green Party on the march in Bristol
Putting the grot right into Santa's grotto

Winter blunderlands

Putting the grot into grotto
'It just came to us, why not do it naked?' London's first nude free runner captured in breathtaking images across capital

'It just came to us, why not do it naked?'

London's first nude free runner captured in breathtaking images across capital