This week, allow me to quote myself: "I want to send him song lyrics. Can't stop smiling." This was the very cringeworthy note I wrote on my phone at 8.59am on Wednesday 4 March. The time of the note is a clue to the fact that I wasn't drunk – I never drink that early during the week – and the date tells me that it's nearly five months since I met my boyfriend.
A lot can, and has, happened in that time. And a lot of cringey notes can be – and have been – written to oneself. I thought I would share some of these notes – diary entries, of a kind – and the stories behind them, for the greater dating good.
1. "Going back to his house for the first time – eek!"
Our second date, a mere two days after the first. This was dinner at his house. I'll be honest, when we took the Tube back to his I had my reservations – "It's too soon!"; "What if he's one of those people who doesn't have a TV?" – but in the end it was such a good night I was texting him all the way home in the cab. I also flashed him my boob on the couch, if memory serves. Takeaway: go back to someone's house, they're probably not as weird as you.
2. "I've met somebody"
This should have been prefaced with a big gulp. The morning after I met him, I spoke to my mum and said: "I think he's the one." I know, this is a terrible cliché, but I think what I learnt here was: you must acknowledge the depth of your feelings and try not to freak out (as the next note suggests that I did).
3. "Too keen"
There was a time when I worried he was too keen. Too keen! When you say that out loud a few times you realise how stupid it sounds. Here the lesson is: what's the alternative, somebody who is "a bit" keen? Is that better?
4. "Big urban trainers"
I wrote this down because, well, I suppose it tickled me. About two months in he referred to the "big urban trainers" I was wearing in my profile pic on Happn. He hated them. I also hated his stupid little mod hat in one of his pictures – but I looked past it. Takeaway: If you're reading this, now you know, darling.
5. And finally, "I want to send him song lyrics. Can't stop smiling"
Back to my first note. You'll be pleased to know I didn't send him song lyrics so much as a song title that happens also to be a lyric, in the Pulp song, "Something Changed". This I used to cling to, in the hope that I didn't come across as totally lame. The takeaway lesson from this: if you feel like sending romantic verse, do it. Why? Well, as I recently discovered, he didn't even notice it was a song lyric. So, the sixth and greatest lesson: sod it – it's cool to be cute.Reuse content