Archie Bland: All I was left with were bad memories

It was just a normal holiday, I was assured, with healthy extras. Early morning yoga. Massage. An excess of salad. What I hadn't anticipated was a twice-daily enema.

The new age gurus in charge were pretty convincing. You're all clogged up with toxins, they explained. You need to give your colon a reboot. You'll feel like a new man. They made dark references to something called mucoid plaque. And so I went along with it.

Did I feel like a new man? I did not. I felt like the same man, except with a fresh set of unsettling memories. I see why people feel that giving your gastrointestinal tract a scrub should make you healthier. But aside from the relief when the process was over, I didn't notice the slightest difference to my wellbeing.

Now this study suggests side-effects can include renal failure and death. While I am reconciled to meeting the Grim Reaper one day, I'd just as soon not do so with a tube in my bottom.