Deborah Ross: Cheryl's in a state, and so's my husband

If you ask me...

Share
Related Topics

If you ask me, it wasn't until I read the headline "Why We Are All Worried For Cheryl" that I realised just how worried for Cheryl I was. Sometimes, it can take an all-inclusive headline like that to distract you from, say, Syria or Afghanistan or Serbia or even the closure of your local library and put everything into perspective.

From then on, I have worried, worried, worried about Ms Cole, who has been "uncontactable" ever since she was booted off the American X Factor; which is no way to treat someone with such super hair and dimples. Do you think super hair and dimples come easy? Do you? Do you think Cheryl hasn't worked at her hair and her dimples? I'm betting you don't have such super hair and dimples. She didn't get to the top for nothing, you know.

And so I worry about Cheryl. I worry day and night, sometimes waking at 3am and thinking: "It could be day, it could be night but, whichever it is, I'm just so worried about Cheryl." Naturally, I nudge my husband to ask if he's as worried about Cheryl as I am. "No," he always says, but then he would say that. He's not good at expressing his feelings, which isn't to say that, deep down, he is isn't worrying. And hurting.

He was exactly like this when Kerry lost her contract with Iceland. Wouldn't talk about it at all. I do tell him that bottling it up in this way isn't healthy; that he will probably die of a stroke at 52. One day, I told him, he'll be eating his breakfast at the kitchen table, perfectly normally, then he'll clutch his chest, make a few choked sounds and he'll be gone, head in his porridge, and who'll be left to clear up the mess? Yes, me. And don't I have enough worries? Aren't I worried enough about Cheryl as it is? Aren't I still a little bit worried for Kerry, who is so obviously off her trolley?

"You can talk to me about your fears for Cheryl at any time," I told him. "Go away," he said, which only confirmed he is so worried for Cheryl he just can't deal with it. He then moved into the spare room, but I understood. Some people just need their own space in which to worry about Cheryl and deliberate on the kind of support she most needs right now. I've just knocked on his door to update him – "We're still all worried for Cheryl out here, you know" – but, no, nothing. He's probably had a stroke the other side of the door. Didn't I tell him? Didn't I?

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

SThree: Trainee Recruitment Consultant

£20000 - £25000 per annum + OTE £45K: SThree: SThree were established in 1986....

Recruitment Genius: SAGE Bookkeeper & PA to Directors

£18000 - £24000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: An exciting opportunity has ari...

Recruitment Genius: Online Sales and Customer Services Executive

£15000 - £18000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: An On-line Sales & Customer Ser...

Recruitment Genius: Accounts Assistant - Fixed Term Contract - 6 Months

£15000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: One of the largest hospitality companies...

Day In a Page

Read Next
Neo-Nazis march in London  

I'm taking my Jewish kids to a vile neo-Nazi rally in London this weekend – because I want them to learn about free speech

Richard Ferrer
A police officer carries a casualty to safety  

Tunisia attack proves we cannot stop terrorists carrying out operations against Britons in Muslim countries

Robert Verkaik
Seifeddine Rezgui: What motivated a shy student to kill 38 holidaymakers in Tunisia?

Making of a killer

What motivated a shy student to kill 38 holidaymakers in Tunisia?
UK Heatwave: Temperatures on the tube are going to exceed the legal limit for transporting cattle

Just when you thought your commute couldn't get any worse...

Heatwave will see temperatures on the Tube exceed legal limit for transporting cattle
Exclusive - The Real Stories of Migrant Britain: Swapping Bucharest for London

The Real Stories of Migrant Britain

Meet the man who swapped Romania for the UK in a bid to provide for his family, only to discover that the home he left behind wasn't quite what it seemed
Cheaper energy on the way, but it's not all sunshine and rainbows

Cheaper energy on the way, but it's not all sunshine and rainbows

Solar power will help bring down electricity prices over the next five years, according to a new report. But it’s cheap imports of ‘dirty power’ that will lower them the most
Katy Perry prevented from buying California convent for $14.5m after nuns sell to local businesswoman instead

No grace of God for Katy Perry as sisters act to stop her buying convent

Archdiocese sues nuns who turned down star’s $14.5m because they don’t approve of her
Ajmer: The ancient Indian metropolis chosen to be a 'smart city' where residents would just be happy to have power and running water

Residents just want water and power in a city chosen to be a ‘smart’ metropolis

The Indian Government has launched an ambitious plan to transform 100 of its crumbling cities
Michael Fassbender in 'Macbeth': The Scottish play on film, from Welles to Cheggers

Something wicked?

Films of Macbeth don’t always end well - just ask Orson Welles... and Keith Chegwin
10 best sun creams for body

10 best sun creams for body

Make sure you’re protected from head to toe in the heatwave
Wimbledon 2015: Nick Bollettieri - Milos Raonic has ability to get to the top but he must learn to handle pressure in big games

Nick Bollettieri's Wimbledon files

Milos Raonic has ability to get to the top but he must learn to handle pressure in big games
Women's World Cup 2015: How England's semi-final success could do wonders for both sexes

There is more than a shiny trophy to be won by England’s World Cup women

The success of the decidedly non-famous females wearing the Three Lions could do wonders for a ‘man’s game’ riddled with cynicism and greed
How to stop an asteroid hitting Earth: Would people co-operate to face down a global peril?

How to stop an asteroid hitting Earth

Would people cooperate to face a global peril?
Just one day to find €1.6bn: Greece edges nearer euro exit

One day to find €1.6bn

Greece is edging inexorably towards an exit from the euro
New 'Iron Man' augmented reality technology could help surgeons and firefighters, say scientists

'Iron Man' augmented reality technology could become reality

Holographic projections would provide extra information on objects in a person's visual field in real time
Sugary drinks 'are killing 184,000 adults around the world every year'

Sugary drinks are killing 184,000 adults around the world every year

The drinks that should be eliminated from people's diets
Pride of Place: Historians map out untold LGBT histories of locations throughout UK

Historians map out untold LGBT histories

Public are being asked to help improve the map