Deborah Ross: Cheryl's in a state, and so's my husband

If you ask me...

Share
Related Topics

If you ask me, it wasn't until I read the headline "Why We Are All Worried For Cheryl" that I realised just how worried for Cheryl I was. Sometimes, it can take an all-inclusive headline like that to distract you from, say, Syria or Afghanistan or Serbia or even the closure of your local library and put everything into perspective.

From then on, I have worried, worried, worried about Ms Cole, who has been "uncontactable" ever since she was booted off the American X Factor; which is no way to treat someone with such super hair and dimples. Do you think super hair and dimples come easy? Do you? Do you think Cheryl hasn't worked at her hair and her dimples? I'm betting you don't have such super hair and dimples. She didn't get to the top for nothing, you know.

And so I worry about Cheryl. I worry day and night, sometimes waking at 3am and thinking: "It could be day, it could be night but, whichever it is, I'm just so worried about Cheryl." Naturally, I nudge my husband to ask if he's as worried about Cheryl as I am. "No," he always says, but then he would say that. He's not good at expressing his feelings, which isn't to say that, deep down, he is isn't worrying. And hurting.

He was exactly like this when Kerry lost her contract with Iceland. Wouldn't talk about it at all. I do tell him that bottling it up in this way isn't healthy; that he will probably die of a stroke at 52. One day, I told him, he'll be eating his breakfast at the kitchen table, perfectly normally, then he'll clutch his chest, make a few choked sounds and he'll be gone, head in his porridge, and who'll be left to clear up the mess? Yes, me. And don't I have enough worries? Aren't I worried enough about Cheryl as it is? Aren't I still a little bit worried for Kerry, who is so obviously off her trolley?

"You can talk to me about your fears for Cheryl at any time," I told him. "Go away," he said, which only confirmed he is so worried for Cheryl he just can't deal with it. He then moved into the spare room, but I understood. Some people just need their own space in which to worry about Cheryl and deliberate on the kind of support she most needs right now. I've just knocked on his door to update him – "We're still all worried for Cheryl out here, you know" – but, no, nothing. He's probably had a stroke the other side of the door. Didn't I tell him? Didn't I?

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Sustainability Manager

Competitive: The Green Recruitment Company: Job Title: Scheme Manager (BREEAM)...

Graduate Sustainability Professional

Flexible, depending on experience: The Green Recruitment Company: Job Title: T...

Programme Director - Conduct Risk - London

£850 - £950 per day: Orgtel: Programme Director - Conduct Risk - Banking - £85...

Project Coordinator/Order Entry, SC Clear

£100 - £110 per day: Orgtel: Project Coordinator/Order Entry Hampshire

Day In a Page

Read Next
Former N-Dubz singer Tulisa Contostavlos gives a statement outside Southwark Crown Court after her trial  

It would be wrong to compare brave Tulisa’s ordeal with phone hacking. It’s much worse than that

Matthew Norman
The Big Society Network was assessed as  

What became of Cameron's Big Society Network?

Oliver Wright
Noel Fielding's 'Luxury Comedy': A land of the outright bizarre

Noel Fielding's 'Luxury Comedy'

A land of the outright bizarre
What are the worst 'Word Crimes'?

What are the worst 'Word Crimes'?

‘Weird Al’ Yankovic's latest video is an ode to good grammar. But what do The Independent’s experts think he’s missed out?
Can Secret Cinema sell 80,000 'Back to the Future' tickets?

The worst kept secret in cinema

A cult movie event aims to immerse audiences of 80,000 in ‘Back to the Future’. But has it lost its magic?
Facebook: The new hatched, matched and dispatched

The new hatched, matched and dispatched

Family events used to be marked in the personal columns. But now Facebook has usurped the ‘Births, Deaths and Marriages’ announcements
Why do we have blood types?

Are you my type?

All of us have one but probably never wondered why. Yet even now, a century after blood types were discovered, it’s a matter of debate what they’re for
Honesty box hotels: You decide how much you pay

Honesty box hotels

Five hotels in Paris now allow guests to pay only what they think their stay was worth. It seems fraught with financial risk, but the honesty policy has its benefit
Commonwealth Games 2014: Why weight of pressure rests easy on Michael Jamieson’s shoulders

Michael Jamieson: Why weight of pressure rests easy on his shoulders

The Scottish swimmer is ready for ‘the biggest race of my life’ at the Commonwealth Games
Some are reformed drug addicts. Some are single mums. All are on benefits. But now these so-called 'scroungers’ are fighting back

The 'scroungers’ fight back

The welfare claimants battling to alter stereotypes
Amazing video shows Nasa 'flame extinguishment experiment' in action

Fireballs in space

Amazing video shows Nasa's 'flame extinguishment experiment' in action
A Bible for billionaires

A Bible for billionaires

Find out why America's richest men are reading John Brookes
Paranoid parenting is on the rise - and our children are suffering because of it

Paranoid parenting is on the rise

And our children are suffering because of it
For sale: Island where the Magna Carta was sealed

Magna Carta Island goes on sale

Yours for a cool £4m
Phone hacking scandal special report: The slide into crime at the 'News of the World'

The hacker's tale: the slide into crime at the 'News of the World'

Glenn Mulcaire was jailed for six months for intercepting phone messages. James Hanning tells his story in a new book. This is an extract
We flinch, but there are degrees of paedophilia

We flinch, but there are degrees of paedophilia

Child abusers are not all the same, yet the idea of treating them differently in relation to the severity of their crimes has somehow become controversial
The truth about conspiracy theories is that some require considering

The truth about conspiracy theories is that some require considering

For instance, did Isis kill the Israeli teenagers to trigger a war, asks Patrick Cockburn