You may not remember the reality television series Cider Kidz, which ran for a solitary season late at night on E4 towards the back end of 2013. Set in rural Somersetshire, and featuring the recreations of half-a-dozen teenage students at a chaotically administered further education college on the outskirts of Taunton, it was described by one TV critic as "making The Only Way Is Essex look like Middlemarch" and by another as "a compelling indictment of more aspects of the modern adolescent lifestyle than I have space here to enumerate".
Yet, despite the reviews and poor viewing figures, a certain amount of tabloid interest was vouchsafed in the series' leading lights. These included "Bummer", the ox-like, scrumpy-swilling catering student with his recipe for squirrel pie; posh, language-studying Madeline, who clearly fancied herself a cut above her downmarket colleagues; and above all Daisy "Dekka" Trefoil, who in the scene in which she was discovered unwittingly deep-frying a tampon was thought to have supplied the show's most controversial moment.
Blonde, green-eyed, ingenuous (and, to do her justice, mortified by the tampon incident), Daisy was advised by the agent who contacted her after Cider Kidz's concluding episode that a bright future awaited her in TV. Alas, then, to report that E4 declined to renew her contract; a half-promised appearance on Loose Women fell through after Kerry Katona's last-minute decision to reveal details of her liposuction; and a celebrity-magazine feature in which a photographer was booked to take pictures of her parents' house turned out to depend on her sharing this domicile with Bummer.
Compensation came in the shape of a story in a red-top alleging that she and Wazza, the show's resident dope-dealer, had been asked to make a guest appearance on Strictly Come Dancing and a story in another suggesting she and Madeline were "secret lesbo buddies".
But just lately Daisy has begun to suspect that giving up her office-administration course at the further education college was a mistake. Unhappily, such is the notoriety that the place has acquired in the wake of Cider Kidz that no one is very anxious to have her back. And so, bridges burnt, money tight, friends alienated, parents half-respectful and half-outraged, she soldiers on in a world of somewhat tarnished lustre, where her engagements now have a tendency to consist of interviews for Avon Life and requests to open garden centres in Frome.