"You can save on the cost of a fancy-dress outfit," says Tim McGrath, "by lying naked in a hammock for a few hours, then going as a harlequin, a lattice window, or a roast pig." "Sunbathe under a hammock," advises Sian Cole, "for a gorgeous checked tan, so men can play games on your squares".
PN Grigg and Geoffrey Langley, independently, see five hammocks hung on parallel bars as the ultimate executive toy: put one executive in each hammock, then displace and release as many as you like to set them bouncing. More ideas in brief:
Inter-tree links for handicapped squirrels (Maurice Hulks); giantesses' bras or elephants' corsets (many readers); hole storage, or umbrella for when it isn't raining (AJ Brewer); Icelandic parasol (GF Bowman); for Major to rehearse swings to the right (Duncan Bull); rolled up as a Yorkshire Water mains pipe or multi-dimensional yo-yo string (Ben Hopkins); sieves for grading small meteorites (Jo Howarth); outer wrapping for outsize haggis (Bill Fowler); string vest for Rab C Nesbitt or coarse filter for Los Angeles smog (Frank Card).
"It is used," says Steven Eggleton, "as a net by the Yanomami in the ancient game of vertical tennis," whereby one player at ground level aims to prevent a projectile dropped by his opponent located in the forest canopy from reaching the floor. More ideas in brief:
Catapult for getting one's offspring to school on time (Joan Hoult); catapult for propelling pigs from one field to another (Caroline Evans); put hammock across bath, fill with children, spray with shower, leave to dry, or offer to storks for bulk delivery of babies (Rosamund Aubrey); slings for broken-armed Brobdingnagians (RJ Pickles); perfect for letting sleeping dogs lie in (G Langley); surgical masks for consultant elephants (Tom Gaunt).
Prizes to Steven Eggleton, Gerard Benson and Ben Hopkins. Next week, thesauruses. Meanwhile, we seek things to do with semi-colons. Ideas welcome at: Creativity, the Independent, 1 Canada Square, Canary Wharf, London E14 5DL. The three most creative will win the new Chambers Combined Dictionary Thesaurus.Reuse content