The sumo wrestler Asashoryu has quit the sport after being accused of drunkenly attacking a man outside a Tokyo nightclub. One must assume that Asashoryu is to blame since it would be a brave individual indeed who picked a fight with a sumo, not least one of the most successful wrestlers in the sport's history.
Plus Asashoryu has form for naughty behaviour. His past misdemeanours include feigning injury, pulling on an opponent's topknot, raising his arms after a victory in the ring and, most inexcusably of all, being photographed wearing a business suit.
But what will be Asashoryu's penance? When the former Secretary of State for war, Jack Profumo, disgraced himself, he went to scrub church floors in the East End of London for 40 years. For Asashoryu, we suggest: touring nightclub bouncer for England's binge-drinking market towns. Let him put his trademark tsuriotoshi, or "lifting body slam", to some decent use.