Strange elixir

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The Independent Online

No matter how hard everyone tries to avoid it - and we all try, very, very hard - there is this uncomfortable, unpalatable and essential truth knocking about that will keep reasserting itself. And it is this: Life is Fatal. Given this sort of starting - and ending - point, it is hardly surprising that, in the wit and sense-of-humour area, Life also tends to go in for more than a touch of the old grim irony and snappily sardonic. Even so, we do feel that It has excelled even Itself with the latest revelation about arsenic in mineral water.

No matter how hard everyone tries to avoid it - and we all try, very, very hard - there is this uncomfortable, unpalatable and essential truth knocking about that will keep reasserting itself. And it is this: Life is Fatal. Given this sort of starting - and ending - point, it is hardly surprising that, in the wit and sense-of-humour area, Life also tends to go in for more than a touch of the old grim irony and snappily sardonic. Even so, we do feel that It has excelled even Itself with the latest revelation about arsenic in mineral water.

Mineral water! The Very Cipher of the Age of Heightened Health Awareness. Who has not seen the trim person, moving at pace, clutching a bottle of mineral water; and who has not understood the accompanying message: I look after myself, I value my body; not for me the depredations of couch, chip shop, and chocolate; I want to live, lengthily!

So. You will be looking here for consolation, solace, alternatives. Well, we could suggest, dutifully, yet again, the benefits of moderation. But, frankly, we rather prefer a wry smile, or even, in the face of Life, a laugh. They do say it's the best medicine, you know.

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