The energy crisis could kill me this winter – am I already dead to the government?

It honestly feels like old people are already dead to the government, now that we can’t give anything back to the economy

I spend my days wearing two layers of clothes and dressing gowns to keep warm. I’ve not put the heating on yet. I am holding out. It’s cold now, but it’s going to get much worse.

I don’t expect to survive this winter. I will either come out of it dead or in serious debt that I can’t pay back because I can’t afford to live.

As a pensioner, I don’t work now because of ill health. I have a few illnesses, some they can identify, and some they can’t. I have Crohn’s disease, degenerating spinal discs, worn joints in my knees, ankles and hips, and three types of arthritis. I have a lot of problems with breathing. I was recently diagnosed with plasma cell disorder – cancer.

I live with my brother. He’s 68 and is still working to pay the bills; he’s also my carer and helps me to get dressed and showered every morning. I can’t get in and out of the shower on my own any more. I can’t even lift a plate out of the cupboard some days. I have only two options: I can spend my days drugged up to the eyeballs to manage the pain, or I just have to take it.

In the 1960s I left school at 14 and have worked for my whole life since. I worked as a mechanic, and then for the last 12 years before retiring I drove lorries delivering bread. People told me to stop, but I wanted to do my bit, and we needed lorry drivers to deliver food.

I didn’t want to retire, but the doctors wouldn’t renew my licence, so I couldn’t drive any more after that. I feel like I have paid into a pension all my life, and now I am getting no help back.

My fuel bills have gone up by an extra £200 a month, but my pension hasn’t. I can’t make any more money, and I can’t believe the government isn’t helping. A poll on worker-led network Organise shared that 15 per cent of pensioners will be paying 45 per cent of their pension into fuel costs. I am in that 15 per cent.

To keep up to speed with all the latest opinions and comment, sign up to our free weekly Voices Dispatches newsletter by clicking here

It honestly feels like old people are already dead to the government now that we can’t give anything back to the economy. I have a paid pension from my work with the AA, but now it will be worth nothing. They said that they would give us a triple lock, and they promised us that we would get it, but I have a feeling that they will find a way not to go through with it.

The cost of living is also taking its toll. Currently, I eat every other day to keep costs down. I have a meal one day, and then I just have some toast or a sandwich on the second day. I don’t go out, I can’t, and so I am just living day to day.

I just want the government to acknowledge that we’ve done our bit for the country and to support us more, but instead, they’re taking everything away. And as a result, this winter could be my last.