FKA Twigs is suing Shia LaBeouf for partner abuse — and LaBeouf has nothing useful to say

‘I’m not in any position to tell anyone how my behavior made them feel,' said the actor in a statement that disappointed many

FKA twigs sues Shia LaBeouf, accusing actor of sexual battery, assault and emotional distress (Getty Images)

The internet is torn today over the news that FKA Twigs is suing her former partner Shia LaBeouf, accusing him of “relentless abuse” and sexual battery. Social media is awash with the usual reactions when a woman comes forward with allegations of abuse: some believe her; others claim she’s lying for money and attention.

LaBeouf responded to the accusations with a concise statement, saying to The New York Times: “I’m not in any position to tell anyone how my behavior made them feel. I have no excuses for my alcoholism or aggression, only rationalizations. I have been abusive to myself and everyone around me for years. I have a history of hurting the people closest to me. I’m ashamed of that history and am sorry to those I hurt. There is nothing else I can really say.”

What a cop-out.

The cycle of abuse includes apologies and reconciliation, but those are all too often used as an instrument for an abuser to maintain power. And while LaBoeuf may be committed to recovery from the alcoholism he states he suffers from, that can only heal his own trauma. What of the trauma he inflicted on others? It’s easy to blame drugs, alcohol, and “a history of hurting people” due to one’s psychological problems, but that cannot excuse inflicting trauma on others. It’s not vodka that instigates violence; it’s the abuser. Blaming bad behavior on alcohol also further stigmatizes people who suffer from substance abuse issues, while conveniently deflecting the real issue of the actions themselves entirely.

When FKA Twigs came forward with her lawsuit against LaBeouf, she did something many survivors of intimate partner violence couldn’t, myself included. She found the strength to be honest, not only with herself but with the world, about how anyone can fall into this cycle. She knew she would be doubted, called a “gold digger”, and subject to a media frenzy. She knew that she’d have to re-traumatize herself for others to decide if her story was valid enough for support. She put herself, her experiences, and her narrative on the table.

What FKA Twigs did wasn’t for herself, and she made that clear with her plan to donate most of the money she’d receive from a successful lawsuit to domestic violence charities. She detailed how she was given a sexually transmitted disease, isolated from her loved ones, and was woken up with hands around her neck. These aren’t things women seek to have put out into the open, but she came forward and laid it all bare to help other women, to let them know they aren’t alone. This was about justice, accountability, and truth, not about money.

I read her story, and saw mine reflected in it. The physical, emotional, and sexual violence, and isolation aimed against her felt achingly familiar. When you’re wearing rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look pretty.

Speaking from my own experience, when you speak about your abuse, whether it be physical, sexual, or emotional, you’re placed under the magnifying glass. Celebrity or civilian, people will attempt to pick apart your story, to prove you’re lying or that you have a motive for revenge. People will fail to stand by you while you’re circling the drain, and they’ll choose your abuser instead because it’s easy. They will examine your entire sexual history and society feels entitled to scrutinize you. They will say, “But you’re such a strong woman — how could he abuse you?” They will say you’re faking it, but the fact is, false reporting numbers are lower than the amount of actual rapists that go to prison.

No excuse, no explanation can remove the trauma victims of intimate partner violence receive. No amount of money can fix what was broken, but trauma has a cost, and that cost should be paid. FKA Twigs lost money, time, and herself in a relationship where she was subjugated and stifled. She’s in the right to demand monetary compensation. That’s not gold digging — it’s demanding accountability, and payment for the worst kind of emotional labor.