Heads up: Top comment and controversy

Poll: Was 2013 the most boring Brit Awards ever?

The Brit Awards used to be exciting. For one of the pop-iest events in the music calendar, they were even a bit rock 'n' roll. No one young enough to fit the Brit's target audience will remember this, of course - there's a reason why they hold the ceremony during half term - and that's the saddest thing of all. They don't even know what they're missing.

Remember when Jarvis Cocker pricked the pomposity of Michael Jackson's personal God delusion by flouncing on stage during Jacko's performance of 'Earth Song' and mooning? That was good. Remember when Geri Haliwell wore that union jack dress and flashed her knickers to the entire nation? That was good too But enough reminiscing. Those days are over. 2013 was the most boring Brits ever and here are five reasons why:

1. Emeli Sande was there

Lovely girl, probably, but the most interesting thing about her is her haircut and even on that front, Pat Butcher beat her to it by twenty years at least.

2. Mumford and Sons was there

Says it all.

3. Chris Martin wasn't there

Even The Most Boring Man in Rock (TM) decided he'd be washing his hair. In his stead he sent two men - who may or may not be in Coldplay, such was the indistinguishable nature of their faces - to pick up the award for Best Live Act.

4. One Direction was reportedly banned from booze

Whichever goodie-two-shoes record exec came up with this little diktat deserves the scorn of the nation. How is Harry Styles supposed to humiliate himself in front of ex Taylor Swift, if he's stone-cold sober? Extra dull points for reportedly replacing the booze on the rider with...wait for it...peppermint tea.

5. James Corden was presenting

Again, nice guy, probably, but really? Is this man at the cutting edge of British comedy?

React Now

Read Next
File: David Cameron offers a toast during a State Dinner in his honour March 14, 2012  

I saw the immigration lies a mile off - and now nobody can deny it

Nigel Farage
The Uber app allows passengers to hail a taxi with a smartphone  

Who wouldn’t like a sharing economy? Well, me, for one

Mary Dejevsky
Homeless Veterans Christmas Appeal: ‘We give them hope. They come to us when no one else can help’

Christmas Appeal

Meet the charity giving homeless veterans hope – and who they turn to when no one else can help
Should doctors and patients learn to plan humane, happier endings rather than trying to prolong life?

Is it always right to try to prolong life?

Most of us would prefer to die in our own beds, with our families beside us. But, as a GP, Margaret McCartney sees too many end their days in a medicalised battle
Thomas Cook's outgoing boss Harriet Green got by on four hours sleep a night - is that what it takes for women to get to the top?

What does it take for women to get to the top?

Thomas Cook's outgoing boss Harriet Green got by on four hours sleep a night and told women they had to do more if they wanted to get on
Christmas jumper craze: Inside the UK factory behind this year's multicultural must-have

Knitting pretty: British Christmas Jumpers

Simmy Richman visits Jack Masters, the company behind this year's multicultural must-have
French chefs have launched a campaign to end violence in kitchens - should British restaurants follow suit?

French chefs campaign against bullying

A group of top chefs signed a manifesto against violence in kitchens following the sacking of a chef at a Paris restaurant for scalding his kitchen assistant with a white-hot spoon
Radio 4 to broadcast 10-hour War and Peace on New Year's Day as Controller warns of cuts

Just what you need on a New Year hangover...

Radio 4 to broadcast 10-hour adaptation of War and Peace on first day of 2015
Cuba set to stage its first US musical in 50 years

Cuba to stage first US musical in 50 years

Claire Allfree finds out if the new production of Rent will hit the right note in Havana
Christmas 2014: 10 best educational toys

Learn and play: 10 best educational toys

Of course you want them to have fun, but even better if they can learn at the same time
Paul Scholes column: I like Brendan Rodgers as a manager but Liverpool seem to be going backwards not forwards this season

Paul Scholes column

I like Brendan Rodgers as a manager but Liverpool seem to be going backwards not forwards this season
Lewis Moody column: Stuart Lancaster has made all the right calls – now England must deliver

Lewis Moody: Lancaster has made all the right calls – now England must deliver

So what must the red-rose do differently? They have to take the points on offer 
Cameron, Miliband and Clegg join forces for Homeless Veterans campaign

Cameron, Miliband and Clegg join forces for Homeless Veterans campaign

It's in all our interests to look after servicemen and women who fall on hard times, say party leaders
Millionaire Sol Campbell wades into wealthy backlash against Labour's mansion tax

Sol Campbell cries foul at Labour's mansion tax

The former England defender joins Myleene Klass, Griff Rhys Jones and Melvyn Bragg in criticising proposals
Nicolas Sarkozy returns: The ex-President is preparing to fight for the leadership of France's main opposition party – but will he win big enough?

Sarkozy returns

The ex-President is preparing to fight for the leadership of France's main opposition party – but will he win big enough?
Is the criticism of Ed Miliband a coded form of anti-Semitism?

Is the criticism of Miliband anti-Semitic?

Attacks on the Labour leader have coalesced around a sense that he is different, weird, a man apart. But is the criticism more sinister?
Ouija boards are the must-have gift this Christmas, fuelled by a schlock horror film

Ouija boards are the must-have festive gift

Simon Usborne explores the appeal - and mysteries - of a century-old parlour game