The fifth edition of the Oxford Dictionary of Humorous Quotations is released today.
Oscar Wilde came out as the most quoted and quotable (fittingly, it's also his birthday). George Bernard Shaw and Noel Coward took second and third place - with Woody Allen as the only living person to make the top 10.
Bumbling Boris Johnson managed to make the top 5 most quoted politicians - with Churchill taking the top spot (Maggie came in fourth).
The author, broadcaster and former MP Gyles Brandreth, also put together his own top 10 favourite quotations of all time. We're pleased to see former Independent columnist Miles Kington make it in...see below for the full list.
To test your knowledge of one-liners, we've created a quiz. So...who said what? See how many you can get right.
Gyles Brandreth's top 10 favourite quotes:
1. “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.” – Jane Austen (1775–1817)
2. Nancy Astor: “If I were your wife I would put poison in your coffee!” Winston Churchill: “And if I were your husband I would drink it.”
3. “I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.” – Groucho Marx (1890-1977)
4. “Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.” – Mae West(1892–1980)
5. “To lose one parent, Mr. Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.” – Oscar Wilde (1854–1900)
6. “If not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.” – P. G. Wodehouse (1881–1975)
7. “If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.” – Joan Rivers (1933–)
8. “Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.” – Miles Kington (1941–2008)
9. “If you lived in Sheffield and were called Sebastian, you had to learn to run fast at a very early stage.” – Sebastian Coe (1956–)
10. “The email of the species is deadlier than the mail.” – Stephen Fry(1957–)Reuse content