Heads up: Top comment and controversy

Was Justin Bieber's ‘worst birthday’ really so terrible?

It can be tricky to remember that Justin Bieber is a real human being.

Videos of the 19-year-old singer have been watched nearly 3 billion times on YouTube, and his personal wealth, funded by devoted "Beliebers", stands at over a hundred million dollars. Sometimes he makes perfume adverts so terribly cynical one can only assume he's a celebrity Pinocchio, dangled in front of teenagers to rid them of pocket money. But then, last Friday night, he went through one life-changing rite of passage all the world must sadly go through. Bieber had " the worst birthday" ever.

1. No Bieber allowed

Typical ingredients of the "worst birthday" include disappointing friends bearing disappointing presents and rolling home in last place at the bowling alley. 

Bieber's tale is slightly different. The star's circus themed party at Soho's Cirque du Soir was disrupted by an "incident" with the bouncers (reports suggest funny tobacco was involved), forcing an unscheduled departure from the club after just five minutes of glamorous quiff-shaking.

What he did next is unclear, but you can be sure it wasn't eating scraps of birthday cake (the wrong kind) off dirty tracksuit bottoms. So while his night might not have been verifiably the "worst ever", was it even any worse than other celebrity travails?

2. Skrillex's inflammatory cake

The man who brought "wobble" bass to middle America, dubstep DJ Skrillex (Sonny Moore) looks like he's having a fantastic time behind the decks on his 25th birthday. Then the cake arrives and - in the delight of the moment - Moore forgets his Rapunzel-like hairdo and leans over to blow out the candles... cue a singeing smell more club-ejectingly potent than that of the plant Bieber's crew allegedly lit up.

 

 

3.  Dido trips into middle age

Hitting 40 is enough of a strain on its own. It's worse when the milestone falls on Christmas Day (as Dido's does). It's positively cataclysmic when you fall prey to one of YouTube's great "fail" tropes - the mistaken walk across a running treadmill. "I went flying", said Dido of her 2011 incident. "More than a year later I still have scrapes on my legs. That was my welcome to my forties".

So there you have it Justin. Every celebrity has a rough birthday or two. Maybe next time invite Skrillex and Dido. THEN you could have a real hit on your hands, too.

React Now

Read Next
 

The daily catch-up: knitting, why Ed wants to be PM and a colloquium of Indy-pedants

John Rentoul
Former N-Dubz singer Tulisa Contostavlos gives a statement outside Southwark Crown Court after her trial  

It would be wrong to compare brave Tulisa’s ordeal with phone hacking. It’s much worse than that

Matthew Norman
Noel Fielding's 'Luxury Comedy': A land of the outright bizarre

Noel Fielding's 'Luxury Comedy'

A land of the outright bizarre
What are the worst 'Word Crimes'?

What are the worst 'Word Crimes'?

‘Weird Al’ Yankovic's latest video is an ode to good grammar. But what do The Independent’s experts think he’s missed out?
Can Secret Cinema sell 80,000 'Back to the Future' tickets?

The worst kept secret in cinema

A cult movie event aims to immerse audiences of 80,000 in ‘Back to the Future’. But has it lost its magic?
Facebook: The new hatched, matched and dispatched

The new hatched, matched and dispatched

Family events used to be marked in the personal columns. But now Facebook has usurped the ‘Births, Deaths and Marriages’ announcements
Why do we have blood types?

Are you my type?

All of us have one but probably never wondered why. Yet even now, a century after blood types were discovered, it’s a matter of debate what they’re for
Honesty box hotels: You decide how much you pay

Honesty box hotels

Five hotels in Paris now allow guests to pay only what they think their stay was worth. It seems fraught with financial risk, but the honesty policy has its benefit
Commonwealth Games 2014: Why weight of pressure rests easy on Michael Jamieson’s shoulders

Michael Jamieson: Why weight of pressure rests easy on his shoulders

The Scottish swimmer is ready for ‘the biggest race of my life’ at the Commonwealth Games
Some are reformed drug addicts. Some are single mums. All are on benefits. But now these so-called 'scroungers’ are fighting back

The 'scroungers’ fight back

The welfare claimants battling to alter stereotypes
Amazing video shows Nasa 'flame extinguishment experiment' in action

Fireballs in space

Amazing video shows Nasa's 'flame extinguishment experiment' in action
A Bible for billionaires

A Bible for billionaires

Find out why America's richest men are reading John Brookes
Paranoid parenting is on the rise - and our children are suffering because of it

Paranoid parenting is on the rise

And our children are suffering because of it
For sale: Island where the Magna Carta was sealed

Magna Carta Island goes on sale

Yours for a cool £4m
Phone hacking scandal special report: The slide into crime at the 'News of the World'

The hacker's tale: the slide into crime at the 'News of the World'

Glenn Mulcaire was jailed for six months for intercepting phone messages. James Hanning tells his story in a new book. This is an extract
We flinch, but there are degrees of paedophilia

We flinch, but there are degrees of paedophilia

Child abusers are not all the same, yet the idea of treating them differently in relation to the severity of their crimes has somehow become controversial
The truth about conspiracy theories is that some require considering

The truth about conspiracy theories is that some require considering

For instance, did Isis kill the Israeli teenagers to trigger a war, asks Patrick Cockburn