True gripes: Squeezed out: Time for rejected clubbers to get heavy

Share
Related Topics
Am I alone in being sick to the teeth of nightclub bouncers masquerading as beauty police? It is the ultimate comedown, a frustrating end to what is intended as an evening of enjoyment, which leaves you feeling cold, bored and faced with the prospect of trudging sheepishly back past the hopefuls queuing behind you. And all on the whim of a bouncer with an ego the size of a sound system who has decided that you will not be one of the chosen few.

We have reached the point where to enter the glorified portals of the most respected clubs in London, the places to be seen at, the happening joints (Daddy O), you first have to be subjected to as brutal a scrutiny as you are likely to encounter anywhere outside a customs and excise back parlour. Quite frankly, if your weight's not down, you're not coming in.

This ordeal is exacerbated by the fact that most bouncers seem to come from some Neanderthal half-breed that Desmond Morris might be persuaded to write a study of - The Naked Bouncer?

Where else would such absurdly offensive discrimination be allowed? Certainly not in the workplace. Any employer displaying similar tendencies would be marched in front of an industrial court or trade union.

It doesn't happen in any other leisure activities that I can think of. (Although for sheer entertainment value, I for one would be frequenting far more football matches if a similar policy were to be enforced at, say, Highbury's turnstiles. Attendants would have to be robust characters indeed). Club entry remains one area where human rights legislation has been curiously lax. If clubs were made to state and adhere to entry policies, punters would at least be given a fair chance. No one can complain about being turned away from a club which is member-only, or has a publicised dress code, if they do not comply.

But despite, or because of, this outrageous discrimination, fanned by the recommendations of the same press that vilify Peter Stringfellow for simply admitting what countless others are guilty of, the clubs in question remain the places to go. You only have to stand outside The Atlantic or Billion Dollar Babes or numerous others to see the hoards of overweight and aesthetically challenged, spurred on by the vain hope of attaining the kudos attached to admission, queuing for hours before being turned away.

So come on clubbers of the world, unite and take over. Boycott these shallow bastions of waifdom, and maybe promoters will learn that their customers deserve a little respect.

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Business Analyst - Banking - London - £550 - £650

£550 - £650 per day: Orgtel: Business Analyst - Traded Credit Risk - Investmen...

Data Insight Manager - Marketing

£32000 - £35000 Per Annum: Clearwater People Solutions Ltd: Our client based o...

Data Centre Engineer - Linux, Redhat, Solaris, SAN, Puppet

£55000 per annum: Harrington Starr: A financial software vendor at the forefro...

.NET Developer

£600 per day: Harrington Starr: .NET Developer C#, WPF,BLL, MSMQ, SQL, GIT, SQ...

Day In a Page

Read Next
 

Letters: The West flounders in the Middle East morass

Independent Voices
David Tennant as Hamlet  

To vote no or not to vote no, that is the question... Although do celebrities really have the answer?

David Lister
All this talk of an ‘apocalyptic’ threat is simply childish

Robert Fisk: All this talk of an ‘apocalyptic’ threat is simply childish

Chuck Hagel and Martin Dempsey were pure Hollywood. They only needed Tom Cruise
Mafia Dons: is the Camorra in control of the Granite City?

Mafia Dons: is the Camorra in control of the Granite City?

So claims an EU report which points to the Italian Mob’s alleged grip on everything from public works to property
Emmys look set to overhaul the Oscars as Hollywood’s prize draw

Emmys look set to overhaul the Oscars as Hollywood’s prize draw

Once the poor relation, the awards show now has the top stars and boasts the best drama
French connection: After 1,300 years, there’s a bridge to Mont Saint-Michel

French connection: After 1,300 years, there’s a bridge to Mont Saint-Michel

The ugly causeway is being dismantled, an elegant connection erected in its place. So everyone’s happy, right?
Radio 1 to hire 'YouTube-famous' vloggers to broadcast online

Radio 1’s new top ten

The ‘vloggers’ signed up to find twentysomething audience
David Abraham: Big ideas for the small screen

David Abraham: Big ideas for the small screen

A blistering attack on US influence on British television has lifted the savvy head of Channel 4 out of the shadows
Air strikes? Talk of God? Obama is following the jihadists’ script

Air strikes? Talk of God? Obama is following the jihadists’ script

The President came the nearest he has come yet to rivalling George W Bush’s gormless reaction to 9/11 , says Robert Fisk
Ebola outbreak: Billy Graham’s son declares righteous war on the virus

Billy Graham’s son declares righteous war on Ebola

A Christian charity’s efforts to save missionaries trapped in Africa by the crisis have been justifiably praised. But doubts remain about its evangelical motives
Jeremy Clarkson 'does not see a problem' with his racist language on Top Gear, says BBC

Not even Jeremy Clarkson is bigger than the BBC, says TV boss

Corporation’s head of television confirms ‘Top Gear’ host was warned about racist language
Nick Clegg the movie: Channel 4 to air Coalition drama showing Lib Dem leader's rise

Nick Clegg the movie

Channel 4 to air Coalition drama showing Lib Dem leader's rise
Philip Larkin: Misogynist, racist, miserable? Or caring, playful man who lived for others?

Philip Larkin: What will survive of him?

Larkin's reputation has taken a knocking. But a new book by James Booth argues that the poet was affectionate, witty, entertaining and kind, as hitherto unseen letters, sketches and 'selfies' reveal
Madame Tussauds has shown off its Beyoncé waxwork in Regent's Park - but why is the tourist attraction still pulling in the crowds?

Waxing lyrical

Madame Tussauds has shown off its Beyoncé waxwork in Regent's Park - but why is the tourist attraction still pulling in the crowds?
Texas forensic astronomer finally pinpoints the exact birth of impressionism

Revealed (to the minute)

The precise time when impressionism was born
From slow-roasted to sugar-cured: how to make the most of the British tomato season

Make the most of British tomatoes

The British crop is at its tastiest and most abundant. Sudi Pigott shares her favourite recipes
10 best men's skincare products

Face it: 10 best men's skincare products

Oscar Quine cleanses, tones and moisturises to find skin-savers blokes will be proud to display on the bathroom shelf