Album: James Blunt, Some Kind of Trouble (Rocket)
How to put this, well, Bluntly?
Sunday 07 November 2010
Much is made, by his swooning fans, of James Blunt's "charm", but to the unsmitten – ie most of us – everything he does is devoid thereof.
On his third album, featuring the dread hand of Linda Perry, Blunt once again shows all the soulfulness of the junior Chris de Burgh he so blatantly is. Cliché follows cliché and banality follows banality: he's got a heart of gold, he'll always be by your side, and so on, like a Hallmark Cards random verse generator.
If only there was something funny to say about Blunt. Like, I dunno, a play on the rhyming possibilities of his surname. Sadly my mind's gone blank in the face of the musical horrors, so let's play this straight: Some Kind of Trouble stinks and from now on, we need only concern ourselves with precisely how it stinks.
Let me count the ways. Well, first of all, he still sounds like Bill Oddie, which is all very well if you're singing about a funky gibbon, but pretty unpleasant when it's a heartfelt ballad. That much is clear on the first track, and lead single, "Stay the Night", on which Bob Marley bafflingly gets a co-writer's credit.
Listening to Some Kind of Trouble's 12 tracks in sequence is as sickly as being force-fed a Hovis-sized loaf of pure marzipan. When he tries to do "seductive" ("I'll Be Your Man") it's embarrassing. And when he tries to do "moody" ("Turn Me On") it's hilarious.
The most terrifying stat about Blunt is that his debut, Back to Bedlam, was the biggest-selling album in Britain in the Noughties, making him rich enough to buy his own studio in LA, giving him unlimited wherewithal to unleash further audio-atrocities upon a long-suffering world. The best we can hope for is that this time he earns enough to buy an entire Pacific Island, and never bothers us again.
Oscars 2015 Mexican filmmaker uses speech to urge 'respect' for immigrants
Oscars 2015 Bringing you all the news from the 87th Academy Awards
TV ReviewThe intrigue deepens as we delve further but don't expect any answers just yet
Razzies 2015 Golden Raspberry Awards 'honours' Cameron Diaz and Kirk Cameron
Film Hollywood's new leading lady talks about her Ramsay Street days
Oscar voter speaks outfilm
Arts & Ents blogs
- 1 Forget 'The Dress': Here are five of the biggest news stories you might have missed
- 2 The black and blue dress: Makers considering a white and gold version
- 3 Prince Harry leaving the armed forced to pursue conservation projects in Africa
- 4 PornHub turns masturbation into energy in bid to save the planet
- 5 The remarkable archaeological underwater discovery that could open up a new chapter in the study of European and British prehistory
Seinfeld is laughing all the way to the bank: TV show generates $3.1bn in repeat fees since final episode
Eddie Redmayne in The Danish Girl: First look at Oscar winner as transgender artist
Fifty Shades of Grey movie shows first sex scene 'after 40 minutes'
Justin Kelly interview: On James Franco playing a gay man who renounces his homosexuality
Fearne Cotton quits Radio 1 after ten years for 'family and new adventures'
New theory could prove how life began and disprove God
Half of Ukip voters say they are prejudiced against people of other races
'Cash for access' scandal: Sir Malcolm Rifkind says 'unrealistic' for MPs to live on £67,000 salary
This is what it's like to be dead, according to a guy who died for a bit
'Jihadi John': CAGE representative storms off Sky News accusing Kay Burley of Islamophobia
Aqsa Mahmood branded a 'disgrace' by her parents after claims she recruited three UK girls flying to Middle East