Jessie J is the latest starlet to be eased from BRIT School to Brit Awards, and with a No 2 and No 1 single already to her name, she's well ahead of schedule.
Her debut has been brought forward to acknowledge this apparent Jessie-mania, but there's little here to explain her fast-tracking. What's to distinguish her? Striking cheekbones, a reasonably big voice, a readiness to use the F-word...by the time you get to couplets like "Oh Jessie, you're so funny/You've got teeth just like Bugs Bunny", you're really clutching at straws.
It plays like a very conventional, early-90s pop record: "Abracadabra" suggests a Paula Abdul outtake, "Casualty of Love" could be Toni Braxton, and even the burlesque strut of "Mama Knows Best" has been done to death by Xtina. Come the final track, a bog-standard ballad, the mystery remains as to why Jessie J exists or what she's for, other than to fill some space and keep the wheels turning.