When Endemol booked the tallest member of the GLC crew to take part in this year's Celebrity Big Brother, they were blatantly hoping for another Bez: a gormless idiot-savant clown with a regional accent. Maggot (inset), of course, turned out to be something different: perhaps the only genuinely likeable human being in the house.
Over the course of the run, he revealed himself to be sweet (marching straight up to the last podium in the "How famous do you think you are?" line-up), sweeter (crying on Rula Lenska's shoulder for still-mysterious reasons), funny (when asked his age, taking a long time to decide upon "twenty... nine"), and bloody hilarious (reacting to the moment when Pete Burns' tackle popped out of his thong in the diary room with the sotto-voce aside, "Last chicken in Tesco's").
The fact that someone like me was watching at all is down to a bit of demographic cleverness on the part of the producers. Even the sulkiest reality TV hater can't resist getting hooked when someone cool (Johnny Rotten, Pete Burns, Maggot) is involved.
And, conversely, it was fairly smart move for the bands too. They've all increased sales among people who would never normally encounter them, and tonight's show has attracted a nice, straight-laced type of gig-goer I've never seen at GLC shows before, visibly shocked (and amused) by the likes of "Your Missus Is A Nutter" and "Guns Don't Kill People (Rappers Do)", the shameless smell of burning "soap baaar" in their midst, oh, and a naked crowdsurfer.
After "Maggot At Midnight", the man himself steps up, thanks us for our support, and reveals he raised £45,000 for Guide Dogs For The Blind. "We've practically got royalty yurr," says Eggsy, as spotlights scan the balcony. "Rula Lenska's in the house!" And, lo and behold, GLC are joined for their encore of "Your Mother's Got A Penis" by a ninth member: the big-haired, famous-for-being-famous Polish countess herself. Business as usual? Maybe not yet.Reuse content