Forget a healthcare bill, President Trump couldn't even sell a Stone Cold Stunner

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The Independent Culture

There are some YouTube videos of such cultural importance that they need to be downloaded, backed up multiple times and stored in vaults both terrestrially and extraterrestrially, should the Earth succumb to apocalypse. The 45th President of the United States getting Stone Cold Stunnered in a professional wrestling ring surrounded by oiled men and shaving foam is one such video.

A mere decade before he took office, Donald Trump was a fairly regular figure in the WWE - a fan, attendee, guest host, "owner" (briefly) and eventual Hall of Fame inductee.

His most famous stint came during WrestleMania 23 in 2007 when, following a feud with WWE CEO Vince McMahon (in part because they shared a catchphrase, "You're fired", only McMahon's delivered with *considerably* more gusto) the pair, friends in real life, took part in a "hair vs. hair" match. Trump chose wrestler Bobby Lashley as his champion, McMahon picked Umaga, and the two of them fought it out to determine who's head would be shaved - a Samsonian, fragile masculinity-endangering indignity that ultimately befell McMahon, who writhed and yelled like he was being skinned alive as Trump put a shaver to work in the ring.

'Stone Cold' Steve Austin guest refereed the match, a capricious man with a penchant for switching sides on people who in retrospect was ill-advisable for an adjudicative position. After sinking a few beers on a turnbuckle following the match, Stone Cold spontaneously kicked Trump in the groin and delivered his finisher, the Stone Cold Stunner, driving the future president's face into his shoulder.

 

I've watched this clip more times than is healthy and, as far as wrestling goes, Trump should probably stick to his day job return to the sphere of business. Remaining upright following the blow, Trump sort of stumbled over, instead of invoking Promethean pain as one is supposed to in this situation. Allow The Rock to demonstrate how it's done.

"It wasn't the greatest Stunner in the world," Stone Cold would later acknowledge, "but I give Donald Trump a lot of credit and respect for doing something like that that he didn't have to do.

"I had no idea back then that he would be a candidate to be President of the United States."

He might not have been great at selling finishers but still, there's a case to be made that his acting with the WWE's Boogeyman was better than that on display this week with regard to his motivations for firing FBI Director James Comey:

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