Luckily, Saturday's "happening" is not modelled too closely on real events. Instead, the night is something between a circus, a club and sci-fi theatre for X Files addicts. Kitsch pop eccentrics Taxi Val Mentek will be playing a bizarre tapestry of Latin grooves and 1970s film soundtracks, while Concussion will dangle an outrageous mix of aerial contortions and dangerous humour over the heads of the audience.
Organiser Adrian Berry promises "super-sensory saturation", which means that there is free food thrown in for anyone game enough to enter this hectic arena. So, all that's left to do is alert potential pigs to an apocalyptic nuclear explosion planned to take place towards the end of the night. Happily, the Albany's magic mushroom cloud will not mark the death of the planet, but simply a set change, a musical meltdown to the soothing rhythms of DJ Crystal Tipps.
Albany Theatre, Douglas Way, Deptford, London SE8 (0181-692 4446) Sat 8pm pounds 5Reuse content