It’s Disco Dave’s birthday today. You won’t see his name alongside celebrities such as Carol Channing or Johnny Rotten but Dave is nevertheless worthy of mention as an important member of i’s rapidly growing family.
Dave, whose job is to drive hazardous materials around the country for the Army and who has a sideline running a mobile disco (available for weddings and barmitzvahs), was tempted to give i a go when he saw our TV advert. He didn’t say as much, but I know he was fed up with the morning paper he used to buy - you know, the one with topless women on page three and that’s owned by an organisation determined to root out all traces of sexism in its operation.
The point is that Dave is by no means alone. The surge in sales we have enjoyed over the past two weeks - “here’s a print venture making tracks,” admitted one of our rivals yesterday - has unsurprisingly been followed by a rise in the number of letters dropping into our mailbox. I can’t tell you how heartening it is to read such glowing testimonials. Each one of you will receive a reply. But, to those who complain about lack of availability, we’ll do our very best to meet your need; to those who can’t get it in parts of Scotland or Ireland, we’re working on it; and to those who want daily racecards, we’re having a re-think (I won’t promise anything).
Finally, to Bob Griffiths (yes, him again), thanks for telling us that Cooper Brown was the funniest thing you’ve read in 59 years, reducing you to “helpless tears of laughter twice in rapid succession”. I have to say, Bob, you’re in the minority, but Cooper never thought he’d be popular . Happy Birthday, Dave!