Celebrity square meals: 'Terra Nova crab' by Simon Jones, star of 'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'

Serves two

The first play I did in New York was Terra Nova by Ted Tally - who later became very successful as the screenwriter of Silence of the Lambs.

The first play I did in New York was Terra Nova by Ted Tally - who later became very successful as the screenwriter of Silence of the Lambs.

It was at the American Place Theatre, and I played the amiable Dr Wilson on Scott's disastrous expedition to the South Pole, and movingly froze to death, along with my companions, nightly for about five weeks.

But the truth was that the air conditioning wasn't working, the show opened in the middle of a heatwave, and by the end of each performance we could see the frostbite make-up dripping off the ends of our noses - we were wearing replicas of the clothing they would have worn on the expedition.

The part of the saintly Mrs Scott was taken by the talented and charming Christine Healy, who gave me this recipe. I've used it shamelessly ever since. It only takes about five minutes to prepare. And it may well make good leftovers, but it always disappears before I can find out.

1 x 170g tin of crabmeat, drained
16tbsp of ketchup
2tbsps of horseradish
2tbsps of honey
2 x 200g packages of cream cheese
1 box of Triscuits - they're salty, sturdy wholewheat crackers you get in the States, but you can use anything you like, crackers or Ryvita.

Mix the crabmeat, ketchup, horseradish and honey, and pour the mixture over the two blocks of cream cheese. Serve on a platter, surrounded by the crackers.

'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: The Tertiary Phase', starring Simon Jones, is published by BBC Audiobooks on CD (£15.99) and cassette (£14.99)