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Dear Virginia, I have just discovered that a very old friend of mine has bone cancer. We've always got on well, and now I've found out that he's in hospital and probably has only a year to live. But it turns out it's all a big secret, just within the family, and I'm not supposed to know. I'm someone who always wants to tell everyone when I have a problem, so I can't understand it – he has always been very good to me when I'm ill. I feel excluded and sad, but feel very selfish as well. What can I do? Yours sincerely, Millie

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