What it's really like to move to another country to be with the person you love

Some migrate for work, some for political reasons – and others for The One, a notion that sparked the heartwarming Love Migration Project, reports Kashmira Gander

(vadimguzhva/iStock)

People who leave countries to flee war or poverty have had their fair share of column inches devoted to them lately. But what about those who are motivated by love? This question of ‘love migration’ is what Yvonne Clarke-Salt hopes to understand; and to do that, she’s collecting scores of stories and photos of people who’ve made the journey. (To disguise their identities, she shot only their hands, and has changed their names for publication.)

As an English language teacher in Mexico, Poland, Italy and the UK, Clarke-Salt saw countless couples with different mother-tongues leaving home for their partners. Inspired by her own relationships abroad, three years ago she decided to explore others’. The Love Migration Project is the result.

Clarke-Salt has so far collected nearly 60 love stories from couples whom she has interviewed both in person – in Barcelona, Brussels and London – as well as online. She hopes to question the view that migration "is mostly about push-and pull factors and delve into what it is like to move for the person you love”.

True, she says, wider political contexts can create painful chasms between couples. Yet, however stressful the experience, those she has met have pushed on regardless. For them, moving is a heady, romantic gesture which can also can present new opportunities. Clarke-Salt hopes to submit an 80,000 word PhD thesis on the subject in 2017. Meanwhile, here are five love-migrant couples that she has interviewed.

Akash and Esifir

UK/Russia
Ages when they met: 30/26

Esifir has lost a car and found a wife (all photographs by Yvonne Clarke-Salt ) (Yvonne Clarke-Salt)

When Akash met Esifir on a chatroom in 2000, he assumed she was living in Russia. But it was soon clear that they were closer than they thought.

“We realised that we only lived about 10 minutes walk from each other,” says Esifir, who was living with a host family in the UK while she studied at university.

On her way to university, Esifir had admired a unique old yellow car near her host’s home. When they met in person, she realised it was Akash’s. The car, which they used to drive around in, has long since been replaced, but the couple remain in London with their two children.

Dominique and Freya 
France/UK
Ages when they met: 32/21 

Freya and Dominique hold a fish they bought on holiday together. Clarke-Salt often asks couples to talk about important objects to help them open up (Yvonne Clarke-Salt)

Dominique and Freya met at Cambridge University in 2007. Aware that Dominque would return to France, they ignored the spark between them. But even when Dominique headed back and Freya continued her studies, they couldn’t resist meeting every six months over the next three years. When Freya made a spontaneous trip to visit Dominique after he moved to Ireland, they decided to be together. Shortly after, Freya joined him.

Freya crammed her life into a suitcase, but couldn't pay the fee for overweight luggage. So she headed to the airport loos.

“I put on all of my clothes. I’d brought loads of stuff for his birthday, so I put saucisson in my pockets. I put all my jewellery on and came out like the Michelin Man,” she recalls.

Realising she couldn’t pursue her career in Ireland, Freya moved to London. After a tough year apart– when Freya slept on sofas and dealt with a family bereavement - Dominique joined her. They are now engaged and share a flat.

Mavis and Peter Ireland/Belgium. Age when they met: 19/31


 Mavis felt instantly attracted to Peter 
 (Yvonne Clarke-Salt)

Mavis met Peter in the German city of Munich in July 1972, on the first day of a German language course.

“It was very, very instant,” says Mavis. “I remember going back to where I was staying and saying to somebody, ‘I think I might have met the man that I might be going to marry’.”

Neither doubted that they wanted to be together.

“My parents were very surprised when I started getting phone calls every Saturday morning and five letters a week,” she adds. A year later, she moved to Belgium. Another year on and they were married. The couple still live together in their first home.

Faye and Carlos The Netherlands/Chile. Ages when they met: 22/24

Carlos plucked Faye out of a Bolivian crowd (Yvonne Clarke-Salt)

Faye loves to travel. She met Carlos in Chile in 2014, where they were on separate backpacking trips. Hitting it off, they agreed to meet a few weeks later at the Oruro Carnival in Boliva. But Faye’s phone ran out of battery and she had little hope of finding him amid the throng of people. She waited for him in the city’s main square for three hours.

“I was watching everywhere and thought ‘it’s not possible that he’s here’.”

But Carlos foudn her when she glanced down momentarily to read. After their lucky meeting, they finished their travels side-by-side. When Faye finishes her Master’s degree in Belgium, she will join Carlos in Chile.

“It was destiny,” says Carlos.

Matthew and Louise UK/Canada. Ages when they met: early 30s

When Louise fell pregnant by Matthew, she finally settled in the UK (Yvonne Clarke-Salt)

Matthew and Louise clicked instantly when they met at a dinner party. Packing in a few dates when Louise travelled back to London for work in the weeks that followed, they decided to give long-distance love a go – even after she threw up in his shoes.

As Louise had a successful career in Canada and Matthew had family commitments in the UK, they travelled back and forth between the two countries for a decade.

Eyebrows were raised among friends and family when they decided to get married.

“People thought that because of the distance it was something that we both were mucking about with. But if you’re going to be in a long distance relationship, you have to really mentally commit,” says Matthew.

“People thought, ‘Oh, well, it’s not a real marriage,” adds Louise. When the couple had their first child in 2013, they made the step of settling together in London.

If you would like to submit your own story of love and migration visit lovemigrationproject.com/log-a-love-migration-story or email Clarke-Salt on: thelovemigrationproject@gmail.com