Being Modern: The dating game

Valentine's Day, dismissed by many as a cynical Hallmark holiday, actually stretches back to about 498AD, when it was established by Pope Gelasius in honour of the Christian martyr Saint Valentine. But the dating game has undoubtedly changed since then – and, don't be fooled: it definitely is a game.

So convincing was Neil Strauss of this that he made a multi-million-pound fortune based on the very premise. His book, The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists, is a masterclass in manipulation and deceit designed to help men transform themselves from AFCs (Average Frustrated Chumps) into PUAs (Pickup Artists).

To participate in this peculiar love game, it helps to familiarise oneself with the rules – and PUAs meet their match in Rules girls, devotees of The Rules: Time-tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr Right, the dating book by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider. Its underlying philosophy is that a woman must never pursue a man; rather, she should get the object of her affections to pursue her.

Rule number one, which commands: "Be a creature unlike any other", sets the tone for the rest of the book. Other useful tips have apparently been sourced directly from the 18th century, with Fein and Schneider dispensing such pearls of wisdom as "Don't talk to a man first" and "Let him take the lead".

The modern dating pool is swarming with people under the influence of these "self-help" manuals. But rest assured, they actually play an essential role in maintaining its delicate equilibrium. In a delightful feat of poetic justice, the only type of woman foolish enough to fall prey to a Game-player is likely to be a Rules girl, and vice versa. Thus, they selflessly pair off to enjoy a lifetime of ignoring each other's calls, putting each other down and sitting miserably in stony silence, leaving the path clear for us remaining Average Frustrated Chumps to clumsily court each other. Ain't love grand!

Suggested Topics
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Life and Style
ebookNow available in paperback
ebooks
ebookA delicious collection of 50 meaty main courses
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

ES Rentals

    iJobs Job Widget
    iJobs General

    Recruitment Genius: Web Developer - Junior / Mid Weight

    £15000 - £25000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: To support their continued grow...

    Recruitment Genius: Marketing Data Specialist

    £22000 - £25000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: They are the go-to company for ...

    Recruitment Genius: Search Marketing Specialist - PPC / SEO

    Negotiable: Recruitment Genius: This is an opportunity to join the UK's leadin...

    Recruitment Genius: Sales Administrator

    Negotiable: Recruitment Genius: This caravan dealership are currently recruiti...

    Day In a Page

    Is this the future of flying: battery-powered planes made of plastic, and without flight decks?

    Is this the future of flying?

    Battery-powered planes made of plastic, and without flight decks
    Isis are barbarians – but the Caliphate is a dream at the heart of all Muslim traditions

    Isis are barbarians

    but the Caliphate is an ancient Muslim ideal
    The Brink's-Mat curse strikes again: three tons of stolen gold that brought only grief

    Curse of Brink's Mat strikes again

    Death of John 'Goldfinger' Palmer the latest killing related to 1983 heist
    Greece debt crisis: 'The ministers talk to us about miracles' – why Greeks are cynical ahead of the bailout referendum

    'The ministers talk to us about miracles'

    Why Greeks are cynical ahead of the bailout referendum
    Call of the wild: How science is learning to decode the way animals communicate

    Call of the wild

    How science is learning to decode the way animals communicate
    Greece debt crisis: What happened to democracy when it’s a case of 'Vote Yes or else'?

    'The economic collapse has happened. What is at risk now is democracy...'

    If it doesn’t work in Europe, how is it supposed to work in India or the Middle East, asks Robert Fisk
    The science of swearing: What lies behind the use of four-letter words?

    The science of swearing

    What lies behind the use of four-letter words?
    The Real Stories of Migrant Britain: Clive fled from Zimbabwe - now it won't have him back

    The Real Stories of Migrant Britain

    Clive fled from Zimbabwe - now it won’t have him back
    Africa on the menu: Three foodie friends want to popularise dishes from the continent

    Africa on the menu

    Three foodie friends want to popularise dishes from the hot new continent
    Donna Karan is stepping down after 30 years - so who will fill the DKNY creator's boots?

    Who will fill Donna Karan's boots?

    The designer is stepping down as Chief Designer of DKNY after 30 years. Alexander Fury looks back at the career of 'America's Chanel'
    10 best statement lightbulbs

    10 best statement lightbulbs

    Dare to bare with some out-of-the-ordinary illumination
    Wimbledon 2015: Heather Watson - 'I had Serena's poster on my wall – now I'm playing her'

    Heather Watson: 'I had Serena's poster on my wall – now I'm playing her'

    Briton pumped up for dream meeting with world No 1
    Wimbledon 2015: Nick Bollettieri - It's time for big John Isner to produce the goods to go with his thumping serve

    Nick Bollettieri's Wimbledon Files

    It's time for big John Isner to produce the goods to go with his thumping serve
    Dustin Brown: Who is the tennis player who knocked Rafael Nadal out of Wimbeldon 2015?

    Dustin Brown

    Who is the German player that knocked Nadal out of Wimbeldon 2015?
    Ashes 2015: Damien Martyn - 'England are fired up again, just like in 2005...'

    Damien Martyn: 'England are fired up again, just like in 2005...'

    Australian veteran of that Ashes series, believes the hosts' may become unstoppable if they win the first Test