Water companies may be taking the pee but I’m the one left bathing in it

As he endeavours to save the planet by using less H2O, Will Gore makes some unpalatable choices

Anyone fancy a swim? The problems with Britain’s H2O are endemic, and present more than just one ‘big job’ (Getty/iStock)

Thames Water water everywhere – it’s enough to drive you to drink. Though actually, to be fair to the challenged Thames Water, they only provide me with my sewerage, not my drinking water, so the current trickle of water down the hill outside my house may not be their fault after all.

There seems to have been no end of trouble with the water pipes round my way over the past few years, which at least goes to show that the problems with Britain’s H2O are endemic, rather than the preserve of a single, badly-run company. Woo-hoo! Every few months, a stream appears at the side of my road, usually followed by the appearance of a desultory digger and some temporary traffic lights that apparently operate on the same random principles as a monkey (or me) with a Rubik’s cube.

If truth be known, I’m a little scared of water. I once thought I was going to drown in a swimming pool when I got stuck in a rubber ring with my head underwater. And after a previous home flooded, I spent the remaining two years of my time there dreading a heavy cloudburst. In our current place, we’ve twice found rain sneaking its way through a supposedly sealed double-glazing unit. And these are all minor challenges in the grand scheme of watery disasters.