The top ten: Useless advertising slogans
John Rentoul is chief political commentator for The Independent on Sunday, and visiting professor at King's College, London, and at Queen Mary University of London. Previously he was chief leader writer for The Independent. He has written a biography of Tony Blair, whom he admired more at the end of his time in office than he did at the beginning.
Sunday 26 January 2014
My aversion to buying branded drugs began in childhood with my delight at the grammatical ambiguity of 'Nothing Acts Faster than Anadin'. Designed to gloss over the awkward evidence that all analgesics are equally fast-acting, it ended up asserting that you would get better more quickly if you took no pills at all.
1. 'Every roll… inspired by you' Sellotape, 2010. Nominated by Ian Rapley.
2. 'We can be bothered' Simplyhealth, 2009. Suggested by Ben Rymer.
3. 'Bang! And the dirt is gone' Cillit Bang, 2004. Submitted by Politics and Tea.
4. 'What will you swipe?' Somerfield, 2005. Sounded like an invitation to shoplifters. From David Crosbie.
5. 'Nothing sucks like an Electrolux' UK, 1960s. "Though apparently they knew exactly what they were doing," says Stephen Fahey.
6. 'Try our faith cures, you won't get better' Ian Rapley swears that he saw this on a church in north London.
7. 'The manly chocolate milk for men with added man' Wing-Co milkshakes, 2013. Euan McColm.
8. 'You're never alone with a Strand' 1959. From Alastair Stewart and Pablo Byrne. Shifty loser looks lost before lighting cigarette.
9. 'That'll be the Daewoo' 1995. As Mike Higgins says, "Even the guy saying it in the TV ads looked embarrassed."
10. 'Our passion is food. Our secret is people' Moxie's Classic Grill, "Canada's leading premium casual restaurant chain," 2009. Nominated by Henry VIII (I know).
Next week: Spoonerisms.
Coming soon: Most interesting UK politicians. Send your suggestions, and ideas for future Top 10s, to firstname.lastname@example.org
Man who held up 'hire me' sign at Waterloo station returns a year later with 'I'm hiring' sign
Saudi preacher who 'raped and tortured' his five -year-old daughter to death is released after paying 'blood money'
AirAsia QZ8501: Black box reveals warning alarms 'screamed' before crash, as more bodies recovered from near fuselage of jet
Rob Lowe hits out at White House decision not to meet Israeli leader
Iraq invasion 2003: The bloody warnings six wise men gave to Tony Blair as he prepared to launch poorly planned campaign
- 1 Man who held up 'hire me' sign at Waterloo station returns a year later with 'I'm hiring' sign
- 4 Tennis fan suing Australian Open organisers for 'failing to shade spectators' during Murray match
- 5 This crazy skiing video will leave you feeling queasy
£25000 - £28000 per annum + circa 28K + 20% bonus opportunity: Sauce Recruitme...
£20000 - £25000 per annum + OTE £45K: SThree: Are you an ambitious, money mot...
Competitive (DOE): Guru Careers: A freelance Investment Writer / Stock Picker ...
£20 - 24K + Benefits: Guru Careers: An enthusiastic PPC Account / Paid Search ...