The top ten: Useless advertising slogans
John Rentoul is chief political commentator for The Independent on Sunday, and visiting professor at King's College, London, and at Queen Mary University of London. Previously he was chief leader writer for The Independent. He has written a biography of Tony Blair, whom he admired more at the end of his time in office than he did at the beginning.
Sunday 26 January 2014
My aversion to buying branded drugs began in childhood with my delight at the grammatical ambiguity of 'Nothing Acts Faster than Anadin'. Designed to gloss over the awkward evidence that all analgesics are equally fast-acting, it ended up asserting that you would get better more quickly if you took no pills at all.
1. 'Every roll… inspired by you' Sellotape, 2010. Nominated by Ian Rapley.
2. 'We can be bothered' Simplyhealth, 2009. Suggested by Ben Rymer.
3. 'Bang! And the dirt is gone' Cillit Bang, 2004. Submitted by Politics and Tea.
4. 'What will you swipe?' Somerfield, 2005. Sounded like an invitation to shoplifters. From David Crosbie.
5. 'Nothing sucks like an Electrolux' UK, 1960s. "Though apparently they knew exactly what they were doing," says Stephen Fahey.
6. 'Try our faith cures, you won't get better' Ian Rapley swears that he saw this on a church in north London.
7. 'The manly chocolate milk for men with added man' Wing-Co milkshakes, 2013. Euan McColm.
8. 'You're never alone with a Strand' 1959. From Alastair Stewart and Pablo Byrne. Shifty loser looks lost before lighting cigarette.
9. 'That'll be the Daewoo' 1995. As Mike Higgins says, "Even the guy saying it in the TV ads looked embarrassed."
10. 'Our passion is food. Our secret is people' Moxie's Classic Grill, "Canada's leading premium casual restaurant chain," 2009. Nominated by Henry VIII (I know).
Next week: Spoonerisms.
Coming soon: Most interesting UK politicians. Send your suggestions, and ideas for future Top 10s, to email@example.com
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