Mediaballs: Thanks, Anne, for all the stupid moments

When 'Private Eye' produced its new volume of meejah pretensions, howlers and general gormlessness, a single broadcaster emerged as the chief orchestrator
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The Independent Online

Anne Robinson: Name the doctor who founded children's homes and orphanages in Britain in the 19th century.

Contestant: Dr Doolittle.

AR: What 'R' is the westernmost island of the British Isles?

Contestant: Argyll.

AR: Vietnam has land borders with Laos and Cambodia and which other country?

Contestant: (after long pause) America.

AR: What item of photographic equipment has the same name as the private chamber of a judge?

Contestant: Tripod.

AR: Which activity, which can be primary, secondary, higher, further or adult, is mainly conducted in schools or universities?

Contestant: Pass.

AR: In the City of London, the Monument commemorates which 17th-century event?

Contestant: Er ... the First World War?

AR: Which month in the Gregorian calendar is named after Augustus Caesar?

Contestant: June.

AR: What 'Z' is used to describe a human who has returned from the dead?

Contestant: Unicorn.

AR: What name is given to the field of medicine that concerns the health of women?

Contestant: Womenology.

AR: The 'Hallelujah Chorus' occurs in which oratorio by Handel?

Contestant: The Sound of Music.

AR: What is the more common name given to the government department 'Military Intelligence Six'?

Contestant: MI5.

AR: Which Conservative MP twice stood unsuccessfully for the leadership of the Conservative Party, against William Hague and Iain Duncan Smith?

Contestant: (after much thought) Ken Livingstone.

AR: A pain in the muscles or bones of the lower legs, often suffered by sportsmen is known as Shin...?

Contestant: ...dler's List.

AR: Mount Everest is in the autonomous Chinese region of Tibet and which other country?

Contestant: Nicaragua.

AR: In which city is the Scottish Parliament situated?

Former member of Boyzone: London.

AR: After Guernsey, Jersey, and Alderney, what is the next largest of the Channel Islands?

Jodie Marsh: Er ... is England a Channel Island?

AR: Which humorous poet is famous for such poems as 'Oh! I Wish I'd Looked After Me Teeth' and 'They Should Have Asked My Husband'?

Contestant: Tennyson.

AR: The title 'Countess' is given to the wife of which rank of the British nobility?

Contestant: Queen.

AR: Single combat is a fight between how many people?

Contestant: One person.

AR: What 'H' is a common variety of bean used to make baked beans?

Contestant: Heinz.

AR: King Priam was associated with which besieged city?

Contestant: Newcastle.

AR: Which Island in the Indian Ocean was named after the date of its discovery, the 25th of December 1643?

Contestant: Guam?

AR: Which prison shipped out the last of its inmates in 1963?

Contestant: Australia.

AR: What letter of the alphabet sounds exactly like the name of a female sheep?

Andy Roddick: Baa.