It's not something of which I am particularly proud, but I have spent a lot of time in nightclubs. Work has taken me there, friends work there and I have an irrepressible habit of staying up late. A few years ago, in the nameof work, I used to go out to clubs about four nights a week, sometimes more. But that wouldn't just mean I'd go to one each night – sometimes it would be three, occasionally four. One night I went to(I think) five in a single evening.
This week I tried out a new one, fighting my way through the crowds to the opening of Rose, the latest offering from from London nightlife impresarios Nick House and Piers Adam. If all goes to plan (and if you read those sorts of publications), you can expect to see actors and pop stars being photographed leaving there over the next few months.
Although it offers suggestive ballerinas dancing on podiums to pop-classical music, the venue is similar to many in the West End, with stylish lighting, clever use of mirrors and a restrictive door policy.
For some, deciding to launch a new venue at 10pm on a Monday night might seem surprising – foolish, even. But it was a reminder of how important weekdays are to these places. Anyone can fill a nightclub at weekends, it is presumed, but to create a successful mid-week venue is far trickier.
On a Friday and Saturday night you won't see the paparazzi outside clubs, because the celebrities aren't really out. In the eyes of many of those who spend their time in these dark rooms, it is far less cool to go partying at the weekends than it is during the week.
They may welcome the revenue, but club owners will sometimes borrow the dismissive New York phrase – "bridge and tunnel" – when describing the weekend crowd.
It even happens on a Sunday. While half the country is watching Downton Abbey or X-Factor, a wealthy minority of people are going to the capital's most expensive places.
These clubbers like to show off the fact that they don't have to be at work in the morning. (Or if they do have to be at work, they do their best to pretend they don't care.)
There is no better way to show you are someone who isn't inconvenienced by the trifling matter of the daily grind than to go out on a Tuesday with other people to compare big-collared shirts as you spend what many earn in a month.