The Feral Beast: Not such a subtle signature

Ready for a boom bang-a-bang

Who paid for the "open letter" attack on Times writer Rachel Sylvester, published in the paper last week? The attack, signed by "Neanderthal Caveman" (an epithet she had used to describe some Ukip supporters), defends his party's opposition to same-sex marriage, and cites the fact that "in the Bible there are 10 separate references saying that homosexuality is 'an abomination'." Hang on. This rings a bell. On his website earlier this month, the curious Ukip donor Demetri Marchessini (who has a bit of a thing about women wearing skirts, you may recall) mentioned that "the Bible states in 10 different places that homosexuality is 'an abomination'." Just sayin', as they say.

That'll be a no, then, Terence

Actor Terence Stamp has been elaborating (a little) on the vexed issue of whether he ever had an affair with Brigitte Bardot. Recently, when asked if his only date with her had been a success, he said: "Well, it was and it wasn't ... I can't say it went well because we didn't have a language in common."

Allow the Beast to shed a little more light. When asked if he had failed with any of his amorous "targets", he confided: "Brigitte Bardot. Our agents had organised a dinner at New Jimmy's but we didn't speak the same language. So I couldn't manage to explain to her that I had to take an early flight to LA next morning – to appear on marijuana charges. And so ended that story!"

Note to Wikipedia, and most newspaper cuttings files: Stamp and Julie Christie, yes. Jean Shrimpton, yes. Bardot, no.

Ooh, minister, you are awful

News of alarming coarseness reaches me. Climate minister Greg Barker is deeply committed and serious about his work, goodo, but out of hours is not averse to amusing his friends with talk of sightseeing at some of London's newer tourist venues. Barker has been telling chums that he keeps being asked "if anyone has taken me up the Shard recently".

How green was the deputy?

Unappetising news from Wales, where Chris Were, the deputy leader of the Wales Green Party, has been letting standards slip.

Mr Were, 25, is seeking nomination as a candidate for next year's European Parliament election. But he's not going the right way about it.

Were, you see, recently posted a mock tourism poster on his website that began with an offensive expression and got worse: "We've got fucking dragons, stunning birds, hard blokes, tidy mountains, male voice choirs, lots of sheep."

All very harmlessly self-mocking (if you're being generous), but then he lets himself down: "If a girl doesn't make you wear a condom, she probably didn't make all the other guys wear one either." And there's worse, sadly.

Cardiff-based environmental activist Anne Greagsby declares herself "appalled and disgusted at the deeply offensive and misogynistic material posted to Chris Were's website".

"The word in the mock tourism poster is the most misogynistic in the language. With someone like this in a senior position, no wonder the Greens in Wales haven't had the success of Greens in England, Scotland and Northern Ireland."

Mr Were, who lives in Monmouth, responded by apologising for "any offence" (sic). "The offending posts were clearly meant to be satirical and … were re-posted from other blogs." He laments the fact that a well-established, radical party "has to have its Welsh deputy leader do something mildly controversial before it can get any attention".

Wales Green Party leader Pippa Bartolotti has accepted Mr Were's apology. "The Green Party is a forgiving party. The deputy leader is a young person with lessons to learn. On this basis we propose to take no further action."