Pandora: The Trudie Show gets ready for Copenhagen

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The Independent Online

As politicians, diplomats and scientists around the world prepare to decamp to Copenhagen for December's make-or-break United Nations climate change conference, it occurs to Pandora that one very important guest may have been left off the list.

In their rush to organise proceedings, is it possible that UN staff neglected to invite that renowned environmental authority Trudie Styler, wife of Sting?

In a word: no. On the contrary, the summit's organisers have thought of everything – even the wife of England's foremost purveyor of metrosexual Dad rock.

"Actually yes, I am hoping to attend," Styler tells us. No doubt the inhabitants of rainforests worldwide will be breathing a sigh of relief.

Of course, the importance of Styler's contributions to such global occasions has not always been recognised.

In May this year, the actress's attendance at the White House Correspondents dinner prompted some to query the point of her being there, as well as the wisdom of her chartering a private jet to fly in to Washington from Manhattan.

Presumably no such travel gaffes are to be repeated this time around?

"No," says Styler. "I will be going by, er... boat."

McCutcheon's novel response to critics

"All the make-up girls prefer Colin Firth to Hugh Grant," remarked Martine McCutcheon at Wednesday's launch of her debut novel. The coquettish actress would know: she starred opposite both men in Richard Curtis's Christmas cute-fest Love, Actually. "Much to Hugh's annoyance, we used to take the mick and say he was grumpy in the morning." Entitled The Mistress, McCutcheon's book – a foray into the slushy territory of Mills and Boon – has been met with muted reviews. Still, the author is having none of it. "Whatever the chatter, I can sleep with a smile on my face saying I've written a novel," she insists.

Come have a go if you're hard enough

Moods in Pandora's workroom are always temperate. Not so at The Washington Post. A tale leaks out of a most unsightly spat between writers Henry Allen and Manuel Roig-Franzia after Allen concluded Roig-Franzia had written "the second-worst" piece he had ever seen. Roig-Franzia's response is unprintable; Allen's return violent. The pair grappled on the newsroom floor. Allen's contract, we should note, is up this month. Pandora wonders who wrote the worst piece Allen has ever seen?

Theatre blackout

Conrad Black is the subject of a new play in Toronto. Entitled Conrad: Lord Bilk Of The Crosspurposes, it sees Lord Black of Crossharbour buy the jail in which he is imprisoned, while the fictionalised Lady Black spends her days considering wardrobe and planning the decoration of her husband's cell. A slur, surely, on Black's irrepressible wife?

Stuck in a lift with...

Peter Luff seems a down-to-earth sort of fellow. Take this exchange, overheard by Pandora's Westminster mole just the other day in a lift, between the Conservative MP and some bright-eyed young wannabes. "Well, of course, we didn't all go to Eton," Luff exclaimed in response to one question. "I mean, I went to Windsor Boys' Grammar."