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Transgender woman speaks out about being a foster carer: 'It has changed my life for the better'

'I’ve never had a problem with any of my young people,' Rona Howard tells The Independent. 'They’ve always been incredibly supportive' 

May Bulman
Social Affairs Correspondent
Wednesday 07 March 2018 17:40 GMT
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Ms Howard is now keen to change the narrative among many LGBT people that their gender identity or sexuality could present a barrier to them becoming foster carers or adopters
Ms Howard is now keen to change the narrative among many LGBT people that their gender identity or sexuality could present a barrier to them becoming foster carers or adopters (Hertfordshire Council)

As a transgender woman, Rona Howard "used to try to avoid young people if I passed them in the street" because they were her "biggest nightmare".

But after she became a foster carer 17-years ago, she said her attitude towards young people transformed.

“Spending time with them, I’ve now seen they are the loveliest people you come across," she told The Independent. "They think for themselves and the fact that I’m transgender has never been an issue with them."

Ms Howard, from Hemel Hempstead, is currently caring for two teenage girls. She has had eight young people with her on a long-term basis and dozens of others needing emergency foster care.

A mechanical engineer by trade, the 67-year-old had a flourishing career in the sector.

But she decided she needed a change after transitioning to a woman at the age of 40, after years of feeling oppressed.

“I wanted a different lifestyle," she explained. "I thought I would like looking after young people, but didn’t expect to qualify as a foster carer. I live alone; I don’t have kids; I’m transgender".

She added: “So I was very surprised and thrilled when, after a year of going through the motions to be a foster carer, they accepted me. It felt great.”

Ms Howard is now keen to use LGBT Fostering Week (5-9 March) as a time to change the narrative among many LGBT people that their gender identity or sexuality could present a barrier to them becoming foster carers or adopters.

With a record 72,600 children in care in England last year and more than 7,000 new foster families required, she said the need for foster carers and adopters was greater than ever.

“I’ve never had a problem with any of my young people," she said. "They’ve always been incredibly supportive. I’m very open and I let them know about myself."

She added: “I’ve even had young people in my care having a go at someone else because they’ve looked at me in the wrong way.”

While she had to hide a lot in the past, Ms Howard explained that she is now able to be “open” and herself.

“I’m really happy with life and engage with people much better now," she said, "It’s fantastic. It’s changed my life for the better.

“We’ve got a lot to give as LGBT people. Not everyone in society is that way inclined, but people shouldn’t hold back just because they’re LGBT. If you’re the right person it doesn’t matter what your background is, it’s the future that counts.”

Tor Docherty, chief executive of New Family Social, a charity that supports LGBT adopters and foster carers across the UK, said: “One in 10 adoptions in 2017 were to same-sex couples in England.

“Adoption and foster care agencies are extremely keen to talk with LGBT people who could either adopt or foster. If you’re LGBT and think adoption or fostering may be for you, there’s never been a better time to find out more.”

Teresa Heritage, cabinet member for children’s services at Hertfordshire Council, meanwhile said that anyone who is able to provide a "loving, nurturing and secure environment" for children can apply to be a foster carer or adopter.

“We know from experience that LGBT potential parents or carers are enthusiastic about considering if they can add to their family by choosing to adopt or foster a child in need," she said.

“As a local authority, we encourage people from all backgrounds and communities to foster with us and we are urging our local LGBT community to come and speak to us about the options available."

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