Now that Vogue has put Kim Kardashian and Kanye West on the cover with the line #worldsmosttalkedaboutcouple, it is time to call a halt. Even Twitter knows that it's over – a leak last week of a new trial version dispenses with what an executive called "the scaffolding".
Yes, yes. No-make-up selfies for charity mean well. But they are just another variation on a tired meme. Shelfies (pictures of people's bookcases). Group selfies (at Nelson Mandela's memorial service or at the Oscars). Unfortunately, this does mean that yesterday's variation, Sellotape selfies (taping your face into silly contortions) have to go, and we quite like those.
Artisan this and artisan that
Cakes, bread, beers, cheese boards. The latest is artisan rum, apparently. I have even seen "artisan-inspired bread". Enough with the Italian workers in skilled manual trades.
So, starting sentences with so
No interviewee on TV or radio is able to answer a question without prefacing it with "So". No colleague in a meeting can start talking until they have uttered the magic syllable. Mentally, delete: just say what you have to say.
No idea who these people are. Is it the beards? The indie music? The artisan food? The alternative lifestyle? Some sources describe them as "millennials", but that's another word that is no use at all. People who came of age in 2000 or who were born in 2000, who have just turned 13? We can all agree that the beard, universal identifying mark of the hipster, is certainly over, thanks to the rise of facial-hair transplant surgery.
Auto-generated internet spoofs
Recently it was London Underground whiteboard signs that looked handwritten but were mass produced on an internet site. Last week it was the Conservative beer and bingo tax cuts advert, instantly spawning "make-your-own" spoofs. The best was: "I say, you there! How is your whippet? Jolly good, jolly good. Carry on." But the fun is over. Move on.