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Attempt to tidy up following prank from local children ends in disaster

The Savoy Grill, The Strand, London, WC2

To any Gordon Ramsay watchers who have gathered around this page hoping to witness another disaster: move on – there's nothing to see here. Sure, with Ramsay's family life and business empire in crisis and his most recent restaurant, Petrus, opening to hostile reviews, there was more than a chance that his latest venture could have been a car crash. Instead, the grand old Savoy Grill glides sedately out from under the dust sheets with the well-tuned purr of a vintage Rolls-Royce.

DVD: A Town Called Panic, For retail & rental (Optimum)

Cowboy and Indian have forgotten it is Horse's birthday.

A Town Called Panic (PG)

Stéphane Aubier and Vincent Patar may be the funniest Belgian surrealists since René Magritte. Their stop-motion animation invokes a head-in-the-clouds papier-mâché otherworld that keeps shattering into pieces and then cleverly reconstituting itself. It centres upon a hilltop house where plastic figurines Cowboy, Indian and Horse all live in chaotic harmony; their bathroom routine is enough to make you giggle by itself.

Secret History Of: Tupperware

Its very name is synonymous with the product. Say "Tupperware" and everyone knows what you mean. They knows about the parties, too. But do you know anyone who has actually been to one? Or who has any?

Marrow with chorizo

Serves 4

Alex James: What to do when confronted by a bull

When it comes to the countryside, despite all I've learned. I still rank as an idiot, a novice. I've only just discovered the difference between a swallow and a swift. (Swallows have red throats) However, I can and always have been able to spot a puffball at half a mile because they are delicious. It's about the right time of year for them and as there has been some rain I thought it would be worth extending my runaround to come back through the field where they grow.

My Life in Ten Questions... Andi Peters

'I’m obsessed with the English language'

Rape allegation 'was false'

A woman who claimed she was raped made up the allegation, police said today.

Around the world in 80 dishes No.17: USA

Global kitchen

A Quick Chat With: Tom Aikens

'Have dreams as they can come true if you believe in them'

The Bargain Hunter: Barbecue clear-out

After all the pleasant weather we've had over the past few months, it's hard to believe there are six weeks of summer remaining. The good people at Robert Dyas appear not to have realised either, because they are currently clearing out their top-selling barbecue sets and garden furniture for a fraction of their recommended retail prices. The pick of the bargains is an AWT kettle grill barbecue, below, which is reduced from £100 to £49.99. Dyas also has 2.7m x 2.7m detachable gazebo reduced from £50 to £29.99.

Around the World in 80 Dishes No.9: Spain

Global Kitchen

Barbecue weather gives way to thunderstorms and rain

Barbecue weather looks set to come to an end as thunderstorms and rain showers set in for the next week, forecasters said today.

UK looks forward to an early taste of summer

Britain basked in sunshine today, enjoying the hottest day of the year so far, and temperatures are set to rise even further.

Around the world in 80 dishes No.6: Australia

Global kitchen
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Pompeii, Capri & the Bay of Naples
Seven Cities of Italy
Burgundy, the River Rhone & Provence
Prague, Budapest and Vienna
Lake Garda
Minoan Crete and Santorini
Prices correct as of 17 April 2015
NHS struggling to monitor the safety and efficacy of its services outsourced to private providers

Who's monitoring the outsourced NHS services?

A report finds that private firms are not being properly assessed for their quality of care
Zac Goldsmith: 'I'll trigger a by-election over Heathrow'

Zac Goldsmith: 'I'll trigger a by-election over Heathrow'

The Tory MP said he did not want to stand again unless his party's manifesto ruled out a third runway. But he's doing so. Watch this space
How do Greek voters feel about Syriza's backtracking on its anti-austerity pledge?

How do Greeks feel about Syriza?

Five voters from different backgrounds tell us what they expect from Syriza's charismatic leader Alexis Tsipras
From Iraq to Libya and Syria: The wars that come back to haunt us

The wars that come back to haunt us

David Cameron should not escape blame for his role in conflicts that are still raging, argues Patrick Cockburn
Sam Baker and Lauren Laverne: Too busy to surf? Head to The Pool

Too busy to surf? Head to The Pool

A new website is trying to declutter the internet to help busy women. Holly Williams meets the founders
Heston Blumenthal to cook up a spice odyssey for British astronaut manning the International Space Station

UK's Major Tum to blast off on a spice odyssey

Nothing but the best for British astronaut as chef Heston Blumenthal cooks up his rations
John Harrison's 'longitude' clock sets new record - 300 years on

‘Longitude’ clock sets new record - 300 years on

Greenwich horologists celebrate as it keeps to within a second of real time over a 100-day test
Fears in the US of being outgunned in the vital propaganda wars by Russia, China - and even Isis - have prompted a rethink on overseas broadcasters

Let the propaganda wars begin - again

'Accurate, objective, comprehensive': that was Voice of America's creed, but now its masters want it to promote US policy, reports Rupert Cornwell
Why Japan's incredible long-distance runners will never win the London Marathon

Japan's incredible long-distance runners

Every year, Japanese long-distance runners post some of the world's fastest times – yet, come next weekend, not a single elite competitor from the country will be at the London Marathon
Why does Tom Drury remain the greatest writer you've never heard of?

Tom Drury: The quiet American

His debut was considered one of the finest novels of the past 50 years, and he is every bit the equal of his contemporaries, Jonathan Franzen, Dave Eggers and David Foster Wallace
You should judge a person by how they peel a potato

You should judge a person by how they peel a potato

Dave Hax's domestic tips are reminiscent of George Orwell's tea routine. The world might need revolution, but we like to sweat the small stuff, says DJ Taylor
Beige is back: The drab car colours of the 1970s are proving popular again

Beige to the future

Flares and flounce are back on catwalks but a revival in ’70s car paintjobs was a stack-heeled step too far – until now
Bill Granger recipes: Our chef's dishes highlight the delicate essence of fresh cheeses

Bill Granger cooks with fresh cheeses

More delicate on the palate, milder, fresh cheeses can also be kinder to the waistline
Aston Villa vs Liverpool: 'This FA Cup run has been wonderful,' says veteran Shay Given

Shay Given: 'This FA Cup run has been wonderful'

The Villa keeper has been overlooked for a long time and has unhappy memories of the national stadium – but he is savouring his chance to play at Wembley
Timeless drama of Championship race in league of its own - Michael Calvin

Michael Calvin's Last Word

Timeless drama of Championship race in league of its own