Life and Style

At the risk of straying into territory staked out by my more lurid male counterparts, I once saw a strip bar in Nashville with a neon sign outside advertising '99 Beautiful Girls! And One Ugly One'. They can get away with that kind of playful hucksterism down in the American South. Here, outraged punters would be demanding refunds and invoking the Trade Descriptions Act.

Keith Allen: 'Litterers should be shot and killed'

I got knocked out a few times performing stand-up I did it early in my career as a way to express the punk attitude. [Allen fronted punk act the Atoms in the 1970s.] One night it would feel like I was sleeping with 127 virgins; the next night I'd get my arse kicked after making jokes about the Army. I got knocked out by soldiers twice. I'd get my own back by walking over seats and pissing on people.

Chicken, spelt and wild garlic pilaf

Chicken, spelt and wild garlic pilaf

Serves 4-6

Naamyaa Café, 407 St John Street, London EC1

You know how, in a dream, you find yourself surrounded with familiar objects, landscapes and people but also with completely unfamiliar, surreal and alarming things? That sense of walking down a street near your old school which is also, somehow, a path on the side of the Grand Canyon, populated with giant talking lemurs? The Naamyaa Café made me feel like that. It's both Western and Eastern, basic and exotic, frank and inscrutable.

Student election posters at Edinburgh University

Vote with your feet and give student elections a miss this year

Elected student officials would at least be harmless - if they weren't so expensive, reckons Eleanor Doughty

Cod with braised lentils and prosciutto

Ingredients to serve 4

Still fancy the full English? Study links processed meats such as bacon and sausages to risk of early death

Study of half a million people across Europe suggests daily diet including equivalent to two sausages and a slice of bacon is linked to increased risk of dying young

Chicken piccatas with polenta, black olives and rosemary

Investment View: Whitbread still a favourite despite horse-meat scare

Chicken is not only better for you than beef, it's cheaper. So are Whitbread's shares

The 10 Best microwave ovens

Forget reheating coffee and nuking cold pasta. These hi-tech gadgets can do everything from stews to roast chicken...

Sesame Street: Forget chicken wings (sorry, Big Bird), it’s time to learn about healthy snacks

Michelle Obama: Give that First Lady her own TV show!

Phew! It’s been a busy couple of weeks for Michelle Obama (though probably not as busy as when she was a vice-president of the University of Chicago Medical Centre and a mother-of-two with a partner who was off politicking all the blooming time). She’s been on American TV six times in the past fortnight, promoting her healthy-living “Let’s Move!” campaign. US right-wingers have moaned she’s not a celebrity; we say, give her a show!

Understanding China is vital for today's graduates

With China set to economically dominate the coming decades, it is more important than ever for today's new graduates to learn how business is done there. It's simple, says Mark Pettitt, just remember 'face' and 'connections'

Gizzi Erskine: 'My earliest food memories are peeling veggies, chopping and making jam tarts’

My Life in Food: Gizzi Erskine

Until the age of 23, Gizzi Erskine was a professional body-piercer in Camden, north London. Now a food writer, chef and television presenter, she is best known as the host of the Channel 4 show Cook Yourself Thin and for the bestselling book of the same name. Her latest book, Skinny Weeks & Weekend Feasts, is due to be released on 28 March. She is working with Total Greek Yoghurt (totalgreekyoghurt.com) to create two new recipes.

Oddest Book Title of the Year: What have pigeon lofts, goblinproofing, Hitler and penises got in common?

Forget the Oscars – the real contest this awards season is between pigeon lofts, tea cosies and pencil sharpeners.

Editorial: Straight from the horse's mouth

The death of Richard Briers prompted plaudits and tributes lauding the 79-year-old actor's professional skills and private character in almost equal measure. Well it might. From Hamlet to Ever Decreasing Circles, from Watership Down to Roobarb, for the best part of half a century, Mr Briers has been a much-loved fixture of British television, radio and film.

<p>Buy or make?</p>
<p>Crisps: Buy</p>

We are what we eat, and what we eat has to be a matter of free choice

Apparently 60 per cent of the British population is officially obese - but does that mean we should add tax or make bad foods harder to find?

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Prices correct as of 15 May 2015
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Set a pest to catch a pest

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Being sexually assaulted was not your fault, Chrissie Hynde. Don't tell other victims it was theirs

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Please don't tell other victims it was theirs
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If men are so obsessed by sex, why do they clam up when confronted with the grisly realities?

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...why do they clam up when confronted with the grisly realities?
The comedy titans of Avalon on their attempt to save BBC3

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The bathing machine is back... but with a difference

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The bathing machine is back but with a difference
Part-privatised tests, new age limits, driverless cars: Tories plot motoring revolution

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