36 cucumbers have been found around the Hampstead Garden Suburb area

Vegetable crime wave: It’s the phantom cucumber dropper of old London Town

The Government may be celebrating a recent drop in crime numbers but it clearly hadn’t accounted for the vegetable crime wave that’s sweeping the nation.

Jimmy Hill (dark blazer) puts the players’ case to the press when a strike against the maximum wage loomed in January 1961

The Last Word: Wayne Rooney makes a mockery of the rights footballers once fought for

England striker lacks the conviction to speak his mind, letting third parties do it

Fragrant watermelon soup could be served as a starter or dessert

Fragrant watermelon soup

Serves 4-6

Wine: Something for the weekend?

Night in

Scones with jam and cream are a British institution

The cream of all teas: Get your scones, jam and cream just right - with the help of mathematics

Scones with jam and cream are a British institution and people from Cornwall and Devon each claim the cream tea its own. But the Cornish believe they have the might of mathematical reasoning behind them.

Wine: Something for the weekend

2012 La Vieille Ferme, Côtes du Ventoux

Tim Key: ‘I captained my school football team in 1992 so I’m no stranger to the big stage’

This week I scored such a beautiful goal at football, I really need to lay it down in print. It was as sweet as a plum; a dipping volley right off my laces that left the goalkeeper helpless – confused and gaping, like a teenaged giraffe coming face to face with a mirror for the first time. It was sublime. People need to be told about it.

Slice it up: Moschino Cheap and Chic s/s 2013

iStyle: If you like piña coladas

Spiky yet sweet - the fashion pack is feeling fruity as pineapple emblems make this summer totally tropical, says Stephanie Hirschmiller

Pour it on: It's even possible for a watering can to embrace chintz. Wild & Wolf watering can, £34.95, wildandwolf.com

iStyle: Chintz charming

Laura Ashley is celebrating its 60th birthday by looking back to the 1970s. It couldn’t have come at a better time. Patterns, florals and faux Victoriana are big again, says Trish Lorenz

Wines of the week

Terry Kirby selects the best bottles to buy
Carmen Sheridan mixes summer punches at The Lido Cafe, Brockwell Lido, London

Packing a punch: The fruity drink is fun to make and perfect for sipping outside this summer

The blend of fruits, herbs, botanicals and booze is almost like cooking. Just with drinks instead of food, says Angela Clutton.

Cheeta with Maureen O'Sullivan and Johnny Weissmuller in Tarzan The Ape Man in 1932

What really separates us from the apes?

Is it our immortal souls? Or our sense of irony? Or perhaps our (comparatively) hair-free torsos?

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Independent Travel
Bruges
Lake Como
Burgundy
South AFrica
Paris
Northern Corsica
Prices correct as of 21 November 2014
Mau Mau uprising: Kenyans still waiting for justice join class action over Britain's role in the emergency

Kenyans still waiting for justice over Mau Mau uprising

Thousands join class action over Britain's role in the emergency
Isis in Iraq: The trauma of the last six months has overwhelmed the remaining Christians in the country

The last Christians in Iraq

After 2,000 years, a community will try anything – including pretending to convert to Islam – to avoid losing everything, says Patrick Cockburn
Black Friday: Helpful discounts for Christmas shoppers, or cynical marketing by desperate retailers?

Helpful discounts for Christmas shoppers, or cynical marketing by desperate retailers?

Britain braced for Black Friday
Bill Cosby's persona goes from America's dad to date-rape drugs

From America's dad to date-rape drugs

Stories of Bill Cosby's alleged sexual assaults may have circulated widely in Hollywood, but they came as a shock to fans, says Rupert Cornwell
Clare Balding: 'Women's sport is kicking off at last'

Clare Balding: 'Women's sport is kicking off at last'

As fans flock to see England women's Wembley debut against Germany, the TV presenter on an exciting 'sea change'
Oh come, all ye multi-faithful: The Christmas jumper is in fashion, but should you wear your religion on your sleeve?

Oh come, all ye multi-faithful

The Christmas jumper is in fashion, but should you wear your religion on your sleeve?
Dr Charles Heatley: The GP off to do battle in the war against Ebola

The GP off to do battle in the war against Ebola

Dr Charles Heatley on joining the NHS volunteers' team bound for Sierra Leone
Flogging vlogging: First video bloggers conquered YouTube. Now they want us to buy their books

Flogging vlogging

First video bloggers conquered YouTube. Now they want us to buy their books
Saturday Night Live vs The Daily Show: US channels wage comedy star wars

Saturday Night Live vs The Daily Show

US channels wage comedy star wars
When is a wine made in Piedmont not a Piemonte wine? When EU rules make Italian vineyards invisible

When is a wine made in Piedmont not a Piemonte wine?

When EU rules make Italian vineyards invisible
Look what's mushrooming now! Meat-free recipes and food scandals help one growing sector

Look what's mushrooming now!

Meat-free recipes and food scandals help one growing sector
Neil Findlay is more a pink shrimp than a red firebrand

More a pink shrimp than a red firebrand

The vilification of the potential Scottish Labour leader Neil Findlay shows how one-note politics is today, says DJ Taylor
Bill Granger recipes: Tenderstem broccoli omelette; Fried eggs with Mexican-style tomato and chilli sauce; Pan-fried cavolo nero with soft-boiled egg

Oeuf quake

Bill Granger's cracking egg recipes
Terry Venables: Wayne Rooney is roaring again and the world knows that England are back

Terry Venables column

Wayne Rooney is roaring again and the world knows that England are back
Michael Calvin: Abject leadership is allowing football’s age-old sores to fester

Abject leadership is allowing football’s age-old sores to fester

Those at the top are allowing the same issues to go unchallenged, says Michael Calvin