Lily Allen

A gadget to suck food out of your stomach, and 5 other lazy weight

Wouldn't January be easier if, instead of cutting out unhealthy food and jogging, dieters could employ a gadget to suck away that Christmas fat? Well that's what Dean Kamen is thinking. Mr Kamen, inventor of the Segway, has applied to patent a pump that can suck food and drink straight out of the stomach, allowing users to eat to their heart's content - then drain everything away through a valve surgically installed into their abdominal wall. Innovative or what? Still, if that seems a little OTT (and the tool is designed for the morbidly obese), here are other ways to lose the flab without breaking too much sweat.

Chat show? Don't do it, Cheryl!

In 2010, Michael Parkinson sounded off about the state of the modern chat show. "The trouble with the talk show is everyone fancies their chances," he told The Daily Telegraph. "Even those on the extreme fringes of the ever-expanding world of modern celebrity reckon it's a doddle."

May day looming as British Bieber replaces real deal

He already has the doe-eyed good looks and an army of female fans called the Mayniacs. Now Conor Maynard can really be called "Britain's Justin Bieber" after the Brighton musical prodigy displaced the Canadian idol from the upper reaches of the chart with his debut single.

Agenda: Lily Allen; Haider Ackermann; Joy of Living; Metronomy; famous

Wedding dresses are doing great business in Fashionland. All eyes may be on Kates Middleton (will she really wear McQueen?) and Moss (will she stand by Galliano?) but pop-retiree-turned-vintage-boutique-owner Lily Allen has stolen a measure of their thunder by revealing that she will be heading down the aisle in a frock from Chanel's Karl Lagerfeld after being spotted at the label's Paris studios. It knocks Pronuptia into a cocked hat, doesn't it?

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Lily Allen's lesson for Easter

Lily Allen, once described by David Cameron as unsuitable listening for his daughter, is being recommended to churchgoers before Easter. Steven Croft, the Bishop of Sheffield, suggested Allen's song "The Fear" would put Bible students in the mood for a course entitled Exploring God's Mercy.