Brian Viner: 'Over here, haggling is not quite cricket; over there, it makes the world go round'

Home And Away

Related Topics

A feature a few days ago in another newspaper suggested that, in these recessionary times, we should all learn to haggle. The writer tried it on in John Lewis, Selfridges, WH Smith and even at a London Underground station, with distinctly limited success, although she did blag £10 off a bottle of Krug at a branch of Nicolas, and all credit to her for doing so. I get closer to offering a tenner extra to those Frenchmen behind the counter at Nicolas, in the face of their formidable Gallic-ness and obvious contempt for an Englishman who isn't sure what he wants, and might even be, in that dreaded English phrase, "just browsing".

The fact is that, for most English people, haggling goes against the grain. It offends our sense of fair play. It's not quite cricket (even though cricket isn't either, any more). And I was powerfully reminded of this last week on a short trip to Marrakech, where, of course, haggling makes the world go round.

With a couple of hours to spare, I hailed a taxi and asked the driver to drop me anywhere in the old city. He dropped me off in the heart of the medina, and waved away my 10 dirham (about 70p) note. "No, don't pay me now," he said in French. "I'll wait for you here, for as long as you like, and you can pay me later."

I didn't like that idea at all, but he reassured me that the waiting time would be free of charge. "One hour, two hours, no charge," he said. It still seemed like a somewhat suspect arrangement. I insisted on paying. He insisted on staying. Eventually, I prevailed, and he accelerated away in a fit of pique, almost hitting an old woman and her goat. I wasn't sure whether I had shown my colours as a man of the world, or just a mealy-mouthed tourist.

A few minutes later, I ambled into a pottery shop, where that English culture of browsing came into direct conflict with the Moroccan culture of haggling. I picked up a tagine, with no real intention of buying it, and a man wearing a Manchester United shirt materialised at my elbow. "Very nice, yes?" "Yes." "Only 120 dirhams." "No thanks." "OK, 100 dirhams." "No, I really don't want it." "Then 80 dirhams." I smiled politely, and left the shop. He followed me. "Come on, 80 dirhams. Very good price." I returned to my hotel room and stepped into the shower. "Then how about 60 dirhams," he said, soaping my back.

This is a slight exaggeration, but he certainly attached himself to me for slightly longer than I was altogether comfortable with. He must have been having a slow sales day. Anyway, some way down the street from his shop we agreed on a price of 60 dirhams for a tagine that I didn't really want, and I ended up buying five more. Haggling 6, browsing 0.

It wasn't as if I had gone to Marrakech to shop. I was there for the eighth Marrakech Film Festival. A PR company based in London had offered to fly me out and put me up, promising me an interview with John Hurt, among other treats. That afternoon, I was taken to his hotel, where I was greeted by a French PR woman with a clipboard and a worryingly officious demeanour. "You have 15 minutes with John Hurt," she said. "But I've come all the way from England for this, and I was assured that I would get at least half an hour..." "He only has 15 minutes." "Can't we squeeze 20 minutes out of him?"

I realised that I was haggling again, and fleetingly wondered whether I might end up with no interview at all but another couple of tagines. Just then, however, John Hurt hove into view. We sat down. I started asking him about the forthcoming television drama in which, 33 years after The Naked Civil Servant, he plays Quentin Crisp again.

He answered my questions courteously, but seemed more than a little distrait, and said that he hadn't been expecting an interview. I told him that it had been fixed up for weeks. "Oh really, by whom?" he said, eyes narrowing, and looking rather more Caligula than Crisp.

After nine minutes, he brought proceedings to an end, saying that he just wasn't comfortable. I asked him whether we might be able to resume our conversation back in England. He suggested that I call his agent. As yet, I haven't. Frankly, I'm not sure whether I can face any more haggling.

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

SAP Project Manager

competitive: Progressive Recruitment: SAP PROJECT MANAGER - 3 MONTHS - BERKSHI...

Senior Investment Accounting Change Manager

£600 - £700 per day + competitive: Orgtel: Senior Investment Accounting Change...

Microsoft Dynamics AX Functional Consultant

£65000 - £75000 per annum + benefits: Progressive Recruitment: A rare opportun...

Tax Solicitor

£40000 - £70000 per annum + EXCELLENT: Austen Lloyd: Tax Solicitor An excel...

Day In a Page

Read Next
Children of a bygone era  

Kids these days aren't what they used to be — they're a lot better. So why the fuss?

Archie Bland
A suited man eyes up the moral calibre of a burlesque troupe  

Be they burlesque dancers or arms dealers, a bank has no business judging the morality of its clients

John Walsh
Save the tiger: The day America’s love of backyard tigers led to a horrific bloodbath

The day America’s love of backyard tigers led to a horrific bloodbath

With only six per cent of the US population of these amazing big cats held in zoos, the Zanesville incident in 2011 was inevitable
Once stilted and melodramatic, Hollywood is giving acting in video games a makeover

Acting in video games gets a makeover

David Crookes meets two of the genre's most popular voices
Could our smartphones soon be diagnosing diseases via Health Kit and Google Fit?

Could smartphones soon be diagnosing diseases?

Health Kit and Google Fit have been described as "the beginning of a health revolution"
10 best over-ear headphones

Aural pleasure: 10 best over-ear headphones

Listen to your favourite tracks with this selection, offering everything from lambskin earmuffs to stainless steel
Save the tiger: The animals bred for bones on China’s tiger farms

The animals bred for bones on China’s tiger farms

The big cats kept in captivity to perform for paying audiences and then, when dead, their bodies used to fortify wine
A former custard factory, a Midlands bog and a Leeds cemetery all included in top 50 hidden spots in the UK

A former custard factory, a Midlands bog and a Leeds cemetery

Introducing the top 50 hidden spots in Britain
Ebola epidemic: Plagued by fear

Ebola epidemic: Plagued by fear

How a disease that has claimed fewer than 2,000 victims in its history has earned a place in the darkest corner of the public's imagination
Chris Pratt: From 'Parks and Recreation' to 'Guardians of the Galaxy'

From 'Parks and Recreation' to 'Guardians of the Galaxy'

He was homeless in Hawaii when he got his big break. Now the comic actor Chris Pratt is Hollywood's new favourite action star
How live cinema screenings can boost arts audiences

How live cinema screenings can boost arts audiences

Broadcasting plays and exhibitions to cinemas is a sure-fire box office smash
Shipping container hotels: Pop-up hotels filling a niche

Pop-up hotels filling a niche

Spending the night in a shipping container doesn't sound appealing, but these mobile crash pads are popping up at the summer's biggest events
Native American headdresses are not fashion accessories

Feather dust-up

A Canadian festival has banned Native American headwear. Haven't we been here before?
Boris Johnson's war on diesel

Boris Johnson's war on diesel

11m cars here run on diesel. It's seen as a greener alternative to unleaded petrol. So why is London's mayor on a crusade against the black pump?
5 best waterproof cameras

Splash and flash: 5 best waterproof cameras

Don't let water stop you taking snaps with one of these machines that will take you from the sand to meters deep
Louis van Gaal interview: Manchester United manager discusses tactics and rebuilding after the David Moyes era

Louis van Gaal interview

Manchester United manager discusses tactics and rebuilding after the David Moyes era
Will Gore: The goodwill shown by fans towards Alastair Cook will evaporate rapidly if India win the series

Will Gore: Outside Edge

The goodwill shown by fans towards Alastair Cook will evaporate rapidly if India win the series