John Walsh: Don't rile the seagulls: they're vicious brutes

BTW...

Share
Related Topics

Airborne criminals No 1. Customers leaving a shopping centre in Cheltenham and approaching the car park are being dive-bombed by seagulls. They're big brutes, nearly two feet tall – and so aggressive that two parking levels have been forced to close. But why target Cheltenham? I think we know. Last August, Cheltenham Borough Council revealed that they were considering shooting gulls, in response to complaints about their screeching. They planned to set up several "feeding stations" and cull the birds in mid-lunch. Did they really think the news wouldn't get back to Gull HQ?

* New social trend from the States is the Shrink Party, where you invite half a dozen madcap chums round for drinks, and get a psychologist along to take notes and "oversee" the evening. Guests must arrive with personal problems which they're prepared to chew over in front of everybody. A leading women's magazine tried it out: among the guest conversations was Anger Management, "Imposter Syndrome" (when you think you're rubbish at your job but haven't been found out) and Compulsive Self-Analysis – but absolutely no sex. It never reared its head at all. I mean, want kind of party is that?

* Airborne criminals No 2. Prisoners at a jail in Colombia have trained pigeons to smuggle drugs into cells. Police discovered the scam when they found a pigeon with 40g of marijuana and 5g of cocaine paste strapped to its back. It was discovered a block away from the prison. Gradually the feds realised what had happened: it had been trained to fly over the prison wall and into a certain window, bearing gifts, but had been so loaded down with narcotic contraband it was unable to clear the wall. The bird with the excess baggage was not held for questioning, and is being looked after by the ecological police unit.

* A middle-aged squatter has won the hearts of the residents of a small Devon village. A ruined dwelling nicknamed "Eyesore Cottage" had stood empty in Harberton for 30 years until Mr Bill Davies moved in, painted the outside walls, put flowers in tubs and carried out some rudimentary repairs. Now he's threatened with eviction – and the villagers are raising £150 to pay his legal costs and let him stay. I sense a new Ealing comedy in the making...

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Austen Lloyd: Private Client Solicitor - Oxford

Excellent Salary : Austen Lloyd: OXFORD - REGIONAL FIRM - An excellent opportu...

Austen Lloyd: Clinical Negligence Associate / Partner - Bristol

Super Package: Austen Lloyd: BRISTOL - SENIOR CLINICAL NEGLIGENCE - An outstan...

Recruitment Genius: Sales Consultant - Solar Energy - OTE £50,000

£15000 - £50000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: Fantastic opportunities are ava...

Recruitment Genius: Compute Engineer

Negotiable: Recruitment Genius: A Compute Engineer is required to join a globa...

Day In a Page

Read Next
Amjad Bashir said Ukip had become a 'party of ruthless self-interest'  

Could Ukip turncoat Amjad Bashir be the Churchill of his day?

Matthew Norman
King Abdullah made Saudi Arabia prosperous but had absolute disregard for what liberal Westerners would view as basic human rights  

The media cannot ignore tricky questions when someone dies - but it must stick to the facts

Will Gore
Iraq invasion 2003: The bloody warnings six wise men gave to Tony Blair as he prepared to launch poorly planned campaign

What the six wise men told Tony Blair

Months before the invasion of Iraq in 2003, experts sought to warn the PM about his plans. Here, four of them recall that day
25 years of The Independent on Sunday: The stories, the writers and the changes over the last quarter of a century

25 years of The Independent on Sunday

The stories, the writers and the changes over the last quarter of a century
Homeless Veterans appeal: 'Really caring is a dangerous emotion in this kind of work'

Homeless Veterans appeal

As head of The Soldiers' Charity, Martin Rutledge has to temper compassion with realism. He tells Chris Green how his Army career prepared him
Wu-Tang Clan and The Sexual Objects offer fans a chance to own the only copies of their latest albums

Smash hit go under the hammer

It's nice to pick up a new record once in a while, but the purchasers of two latest releases can go a step further - by buying the only copy
Geeks who rocked the world: Documentary looks back at origins of the computer-games industry

The geeks who rocked the world

A new documentary looks back at origins of the computer-games industry
Belle & Sebastian interview: Stuart Murdoch reveals how the band is taking a new direction

Belle & Sebastian is taking a new direction

Twenty years ago, Belle & Sebastian was a fey indie band from Glasgow. It still is – except today, as prime mover Stuart Murdoch admits, it has a global cult following, from Hollywood to South Korea
America: Land of the free, home of the political dynasty

America: Land of the free, home of the political dynasty

These days in the US things are pretty much stuck where they are, both in politics and society at large, says Rupert Cornwell
A graphic history of US civil rights – in comic book form

A graphic history of US civil rights – in comic book form

A veteran of the Fifties campaigns is inspiring a new generation of activists
Winston Churchill: the enigma of a British hero

Winston Churchill: the enigma of a British hero

A C Benson called him 'a horrid little fellow', George Orwell would have shot him, but what a giant he seems now, says DJ Taylor
Growing mussels: Precious freshwater shellfish are thriving in a unique green project

Growing mussels

Precious freshwater shellfish are thriving in a unique green project
Diana Krall: The jazz singer on being friends with Elton John, outer space and skiing in Dubai

Diana Krall interview

The jazz singer on being friends with Elton John, outer space and skiing in Dubai
Pinstriped for action: A glimpse of what the very rich man will be wearing this winter

Pinstriped for action

A glimpse of what the very rich man will be wearing this winter
Russell T Davies & Ben Cook: 'Our friendship flourished online. You can share some very revelatory moments at four in the morning…'

Russell T Davies & Ben Cook: How we met

'Our friendship flourished online. You can share some very revelatory moments at four in the morning…'
Bill Granger recipes: Our chef serves up his favourite Japanese dishes

Bill Granger's Japanese recipes

Stock up on mirin, soy and miso and you have the makings of everyday Japanese cuisine
Michael Calvin: How we need more Eric Cantonas to knock some sense into us

Michael Calvin's Last Word

How we need more Eric Cantonas to knock some sense into us