Miles Kington: It's raining stair rods, not steroids. So sorry

For the British public, the turning point in the Boer War was the relief of Zadiesmith

In our serialisation of the new Ian McEwan novel in February this year, we wrote the following:

"The rain was coming down in steroids."

This should, of course, have been:

"The rain was coming down in stair rods."

Sorry, Ian. The person responsible has been fired.

Due to a copytaking misunderstanding in July, we wrote:

"The political scene is now dominated by the ceaseless barrage of detonations."

This should have read:

"The political scene is now dominated by the ceaseless barrage of debtor nations."

We would like to apologise to all debtor nations, and have agreed to cancel all their personal debts to us.

In March this year we wrote:

"For the British public, the greatest turning point of the Boer War was the announcement, in March 1902, of the Relief of Zadiesmith."

This should, of course, have read:

"For the British public, the greatest turning point of the Boer War was the announcement, in March 1902, of the Relief of Ladysmith."

We apologise for the error and have paid a small amount to a charity of Zadie Smith's choosing.

In a travel article which appeared earlier in the spring, we mistakenly printed the following:

"After a few weeks spent travelling in Mexico, what chiefly occupies the visitor is not the grandeur of the church architecture, or the colourfulness of native culture, but the persistent presence round every street corner of the maddening and hideously grating sound of Mary Archer."

This was not what the writer wrote, which was:

"After a few weeks spent travelling in Mexico, what chiefly occupies the visitor is not the grandeur of the church architecture, or the colourfulness of native culture, but the persistent presence round every street corner of the maddening and hideously grating sound of mariachi."

We have paid a large contribution to a charity of Mary Archer's choice.

In a political article two weeks ago, we firmly predicted the following:

"However strong and powerful Israel seems to be now, everything points to the Palestinians taking no more than 50 years to regain complete control of Gozo."

This should, of course, have read:

"However strong and powerful Israel seems to be now, everything points to the Palestinians taking no more than 50 years to regain complete control of Gaza."

We have agreed to make a private donation to the pocket of a Maltese cabinet minister. We have also made a small payment to Mr Paul Gascoigne, following references to the "Gazzer strip".

In a summer cookery special we said the following:

"The main shortcomings of British cooking can be summed up in one word: Crewe Station."

This should have been:

"The main shortcomings of British cooking can be summed up in one word: crustacean."

We have agreed to change trains at Crewe in future.

In May earlier this year, there appeared the following in a short piece on Buddhism:

"Practitioners say that almost any state of mind can be achieved after half a dozen years of medication."

We think this should have read:

"Practitioners say that almost any state of mind can be achieved after half a dozen years of meditation."

We have slipped a few bob into a Buddhist collecting bowl in Oxford Street.

We referred recently to the outstanding British novelist Julie Anne Barnes. We have now learnt that....

Sorry, no space for more apologies. Some other time, perhaps.