Miles Kington Remembered: Why do you never see unruly children on a roof rack?

14 July

Ten measures of pain most commonly used by the English, in ascending order, after the phrase: "It hurts like..."

1 Anything

2 Mad

3 Blazes

4 Stink

5 The Dickens

6 Hell

7 Fury

8 The Devil

9 Merry Hell

10 Buggery

Ten things commonly seen on people's roof-racks

1 Surfboards

2 Bicycles

3 Luggage wrapped in flapping polythene

4 Second-hand armchairs

5 Skis

6 Double bass

7 Beds

8 Canoes

9 Golf clubs

10 Rolls of carpet

Ten things not seen often enough on people's roof-racks

1 Statues

2 Grandfather clocks

3 Coffins

4 Pianos

5 Coca-Cola vending machines

6 Horse saddles

7 Horses

8 Skeletons

9 Weather vanes

10 Unruly children

Ten things that we hold on to because they might be useful one day (but in fact they never turn out to be)

1 An airline face wipe

2 Unused foreign stamps, bought on holiday for postcards that never got sent

3 A phone number on a bit of paper, with no name attached

4 An unidentified key

5 A single piece of a jigsaw puzzle

6 One left-over firework

7 Wine corks

8 A slightly dented ping-pong ball

9 51 matching playing-cards

10 A child's pushchair

Ten clichés that all Australians must feel oppressed by

1 Hats with dangling corks

2 Ice-cold lager

3 Convict forebears

4 Surfing

5 Sharks

6 The name Barry

7 Barbies

8 "Waltzing Matilda"

9 Billabongs

10 Rolf Harris

Ten saints who we doubt ever really existed

1 St John Stevas

2 St Vitus

3 Santa Monica

4 St Evias

5 St Johnstone

6 Santa Barbara

7 St Raphael

8 St Vedast

9 St Weonard

10 St Neot

Ten things that CD stands for, apart from "compact disc"

1 Camp David

2 Charles Darwin

3 Christmas Day

4 County Down

5 Castle Donington

6 Constructive dismissal

7 Conan Doyle

8 Cheese dip

9 Chicken dinner

10 Canada Dry

Ten books that became bestsellers despite, not because of, their titles

1 Das Kapital

2 Jonathan Livingston Seagull

3 On the Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection

4 The Bible

5 Apologia pro vita sua

6 A la recherche du temps perdu

7 Wuthering Heights

8 Eothen

9 Trainspotting

10 Pnin