Ten ways in which Radio Times avoids saying "Here is another dreary repeat..."
"Another chance to see..."
"Have I Got Old Fawlty Towers For You?"
"A reminder of last season's great success..."
"A profile of..."
"A welcome chance to see again the first series of..."
"A rare chance to see again the very first programme in the first series of..."
"A reshowing of one of the classic episodes of..."
"An episode of one of the greatest ever comedy classics..."
"Perhaps the greatest episode of possibly the greatest ever vintage comedy classic series..."
"Another failure of nerve on the part of the Controller of BBC 2..."
Ten names we give to unknown, anonymous people
Darby and Joan
Uncle Tom Cobbley
Jack the Lad
Tom (Dick & Harry)
Ten things that have changed in our lifetime
People no longer stand still for the National Anthem (which is no longer played in cinemas when they close for the night).
There was a time when people did not go to pubs to take part in quizzes.
Obituaries have ceased to make Biblical references.
Screwdrivers no longer all have the same shaped end.
Everything can now be blamed on global warming.
Performance artists never used to stand still for hours on end, dressed in silver robes.
Football fans never painted their heads in their national colours.
Newspapers now come in different bits, none of which is ever called "the colour magazine" any more.
Nobody talks about 1984 any more.
Ten things that otherwise sane men find themselves doing for charity
They do parachute jumps.
They shave their hair off.
They walk till they are sick.
They swim till they drown.
They build rafts out of household objects and sink.
They dress up as nurses.
They push beds through the streets.
They dress up as babies.
They shave their moustaches off.
They grow beards.
Ten expressions that people use when they really mean: "Contains titillating sexual content"
Ten Top Displacement Activities
Reading the paper
Doing the dishes
Doing an Open University degree course
Going on the internet
Going to church
Ten inappropriate things which smokers have been known to use to stub out a cigarette when they can't find an ashtray.
Cup of cold tea
Piece of soap
Jar of cold cream
Their empty cigarette packet
That really nice wooden bowl we brought back from the Philippines which isn't meant to be used as an ashtray at all and which is now ruined.Reuse content