Grace Dent: Cressida's better off without the pressure that comes with dating a prince

The Royal Family do not require a living breathing woman with brains and ambition

Cress, 24, and Harry, 29 are off. Finished. Harry's texting her 20 times day trying to make things up, apparently. Cress is off work with a broken heart, “they” say. Something about a holiday in Vegas did the damage. If Harry wasn’t fourth in line to the British throne and Cressida wasn’t our new national “Princess-in-waiting”, the details of this youthful romance’s ups and down would hardly interest their closest friends.

I can’t even remember who I was dating when I was 24 years old. but I’m sure I believed this was huge, important forever love and I’m bloody thankful I was wrong. This is no age for a sharp young woman to become forever betrothed to anyone. In Cressida’s case, this warning is somewhat amplified.

Most tiny girls go through a stage of yearning to be either a ballerina or a princess. The former is a lifetime of bunions and anorexia, the latter involves the utter loss of personal freedom in return for constant scrutiny. The Royal Family do not require a living breathing woman with wit, brains and ambition, they require a virginal semi-mute who can look fragrant in a tea-dress, take etiquette advice without sulking, and push out an heir, a spare, and then one in case of emergency. If Cressida had any sense she would leave her phone turned off.