- Friday 24 May 2013
- My Account
- Logout
- Register
- Login
- News
-
Voices
-
Find by writer
- Yasmin Alibhai-Brown
- Rebecca Armstrong
- Memphis Barker
- Terence Blacker
- Chris Blackhurst
- David Blanchflower
- Archie Bland
- Ian Burrell
- Andrew Buncombe
- Ben Chu
- Patrick Cockburn
- Laura Davis
- Mary Dejevsky
- Grace Dent
- Robert Fisk
- Andrew Grice
- Stefano Hatfield
- Philip Hensher
- Ian Herbert
- Howard Jacobson
- Ellen E Jones
- Alice Jones
- Owen Jones
- Simon Kelner
- Dominic Lawson
- Donald Macintyre
- Lisa Markwell
- Comment
- Campaigns
- Debate
- Editorials
- Letters
- IV Drip
- Archive
- Our Voices
- Commentators
- Columnists
- Democracy 2015
- IV Drip Archive
-
Find by writer
- Sport
- Tech
- Life
- Property
- Arts & Ents
- Travel
- Money
- IndyBest
- Blogs
- Student
Thursday 3 November 2011
Letter from Simon Kelner: Live with one kidney? It's not done me any harm
There's a whole compendium of jokes – most of them in
questionable taste – about the doctor who tells his patient he's got some good news and some bad news.
For instance, the good news is that you've only got a day to live, and the bad news is that I should have told you yesterday.
Or, the bad news is that we're going to have to amputate your legs, and the good news is that the man in the next bed wants to buy your slippers. I know. Pretty awful. But I repeat these gags not because I'm channelling Les Dawson, but because they relate to my own experience.
I had been taken into hospital and a doctor came to my bedside and did a version of the good news/bad news scenario. A scan had revealed I had cancer, he said, but fortunately it seemed to be restricted to my kidney. This meant that they could whip the kidney out (his words) and, with a bit of luck, I could lead a perfectly normal life thereafter.
It was exactly two years ago when I became mono-kidney man, and, at the risk of tempting fate, I have to say I have never felt better. I say this merely to add my own personal testimony to the newly launched campaign, reported in yesterday's i, to get people to donate a kidney, in a similar way as they would give blood.
The charity Give a Kidney – One's Enough found a substantial degree of ignorance among the general public about kidney donation, with a third of British adults not even realising you could give your kidney to someone in need, and many believing there to be inherent risks in doing so.
It was in 2006 that the law changed to allow altruistic donations, but thus far only 88 people have done so. Around 300 people each year die for the lack of a kidney. These are not great statistics. Of course, it's not as straightforward as giving blood (I don't know what the equivalent of Tony Hancock's "Why, that's very nearly an armful" would be), but all I can say is that having a kidney that exists in splendid isolation has not thus far been an impediment to my enjoyment of life.
In fact, I was rather surprised when, after my operation, I asked the surgeon how I now needed to make radical alterations to my diet, for instance. "You don't need to change anything," he said. "Just carry on as normal." "You don't know what you're saying!" screamed my liver. "His idea of a quiet night is a bottle and a half of Chardonnay!" "Well, maybe cut down on the drinking," said the surgeon, miraculously responding to inner voices.
Anyway, the point is this: it doesn't curtail your life to have just one kidney, and it may just save someone else's.
-
Woolwich murder: They killed, then they performed - these men should be starved of our attention
-
Woolwich: The EDL were camped outside my house
-
Woolwich is only the latest act of barbarism: Muslims, we must take on this cancer in our midst
-
What, let gays get married? We must be bonkers
-
Embrace the e-book, Stephen King. It is not for an author to tell his readers how to read
-
Debate: Is it right to call the murder in Woolwich a ‘terrorist attack’?
Get your summer started with British Military Fitness
BMF is the UK’s biggest and best loved outdoor fitness classes
Visit York
Find out what The Independent's resident travel expert has to say about one of the most beautiful small cities in the world
Making reading fun for kids
Nook is donating eReaders to volunteers at high-need schools and participating in exclusive events throughout the campaign.
Introducing the 'Get Reading' campaign
Get the latest on The Evening Standard's campaign to get London's children reading.
Enter the latest Independent competitions
Win anything from gadgets to five-star holidays on our competitions and offers page.
Business videos from commercial thought leaders
Watch the best in the business world give their insights into the world of business.
Simon Kelner
-
The popularity of the Chelsea Flower Show isn't waning - but perhaps it could widen?
-
What a kiss can tell us about the Royal Family - and our own stiff upper-lip
-
We can't turn back the online shopping tide, but we can change the way we think about high streets
-
There's a warmth in the air and it can only mean one thing - wedding season is upon us
Get the best in opinion from Independent Voices, straight to your inbox every Thursday lunchtime.
Subscribe
Amol Rajan
A weekly update from the Editor
Day In a Page
The man who's eaten everywhere
A Berliner in 1963 – but did John F Kennedy once admire Adolf Hitler?
Banned Iranian director to attend Cannes Film Festival
The 10 Best salt and pepper sets
Ferran Soriano: Predicting success if Manchester City 'vision' is followed
Edward VIII’s phone calls - and how MI5 bugged them