Only the Dutch could have a gay sociologist fascist

It's true that Le Pen didn't like Fortuyn, but then Mussolini didn't like Hitler

He has to be one of the unluckiest people in history, that dead Dutchman. To make a career out of slagging off Islam and then be gunned down by an animal rights activist. Of all the people that might have taken out a fatwa against him, I bet he never expected the League Against Fur Coats. It's as if it turned out that Mussolini was strung up by a bunch of Mods, who then said "Was he a fascist? We had no idea, we just can't stand skinheads."

If the assassin had turned out to be a Muslim, the incident would have been used as further evidence of the need for a war against terror. So to be consistent, America's "axis of evil" should now include Iraq, Iran, North Korea and the Vegan Wholefood Fruit and Bean Collective, commencing with a series of Vulcan bomber raids over this year's Glastonbury Festival.

The murder is further complicated by the fact that only the Dutch could have a fascist leader who was a gay sociologist. Maybe he was trying to build a liberal, inclusive fascism, dreaming of the day he could announce to his followers "and now, after a hard afternoon's goose-stepping, let's relax, massage each other's shoulders and get rid off all that tension before invading a neighbouring country."

His sexuality has been cited as one of the reasons that he couldn't have been a fascist, but the far right seems capable of gliding over these contradictions. If Hitler had been gay, the only difference to history would have been the uniforms, when he'd thrown a strop and yelled, "Brown shirts and jackboots? Have you no sense of colour co-ordination".

Almost every news item has insisted that "Professor Pim" couldn't be labelled in the same bracket as the rest of the European far right. Much of the coverage has insisted he was simply flamboyant, popular, breaking the predictable mould and quite liberal really, certainly not a racist. Every television report told us he was popular with many black people, and you half expected them to continue, "There was no one he loved more than the Muslims. Look at that bow tie he wore, he was virtually a member of the Nation of Islam."

The media also seems to have fallen for the modern racists' trick, as the main evidence of those suggesting that his party wasn't racist is that he said it wasn't racist. Maybe this should apply to other areas of reporting. "Our investigations prove that the man convicted of murder can't have carried out the crime, because we asked him 'are you a murderer?' and he went out of his way to say 'No'."

But Pim Fortuyn did try to build a movement around the demand to halt immigration, particularly against Muslims, whose religion he regularly described as sick and backward. In some areas, he complained, Dutch people "no longer hear their own language." When did the Dutch start complaining about this? The whole point of being Dutch is to speak 40 languages. Everything in Amsterdam is in English or German, so why didn't he complain about that? It seems there were only certain foreign languages he objected to, connected to the race of the people speaking them.

"Holland is full," was his favourite slogan. Whenever someone says a country is "full", I imagine they see the place as a nightclub, in need of bouncers who scowl at the queue to get in, occasionally saying, "Right, I've just heard there's been a couple of cremations so I'll let two of you in. Just two – you, get back." Europe has double the population it had 100 years ago, so at what point was each bit "full"? But a country is only deemed full to certain people. No one complains about the number of Australians or Americans living in Europe. And most people move to another place at some point in their life. When I moved from Kent to south London, which is more "full" than Holland, no one demanded that I moved back, yelling, "There's no room, anyway we don't want your funny ways, watching cricket and growing hops all over the place. We drink lager here, not bitter, because multi-culturalism doesn't work."

It's true that Le Pen didn't like Fortuyn, but then Mussolini didn't like Hitler. And one clue as to whether Fortuyn's appeal revolved around racism was the chant of crowds of his supporters after his death – "Pim was our Hitler." Now why would they have yelled that? Was it a) because they were attracted to his racism which, they felt, was as strident as that of Hitler. Or b) because they have been misinformed and believe Hitler to have been a gay sociologist?

His assassin hasn't done anything to solve the problem of racism, but that doesn't mean his target wasn't a racist. And it may turn out that Fortuyn's party does better than ever in the elections as a result. In which case you can expect Blair to make a visit to John Prescott one week before the next election, and say "John – there's something I want you to do for the party – it involves a bit of sacrifice but it's for the good of the democratic process..."